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Old 21st March 2017, 08:34   #1
FLYING BANANA
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MG ZT 1.8t+. No.3 of 4 in Sunspot Yellow & Ford Fiesta in Black.

Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Rattler Farm
Posts: 22,475
Thanks: 9,270
Thanked 15,645 Times in 6,806 Posts
Cool Quickies

Two Irishmen saw the sign "Tree fellers wanted".
The first Irishman said "if Pat had been with us we'd have got that job"
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'Anyone who can guess how many ducks I have in this sack can have both of them,' said Murphy.
'Three,' said Ranagan.
'That's near enough,' said Murphy.
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'How much is the bus fare to Dalkey?' asked Cassidy.
'Sixty pence,' said the driver.
I've only fifty,' said Cassidy. 'I'll run after the bus for a bit.'
Having sprinted two stops, Cassidy breathlessly asked, 'How much is it now?'
'Seventy-five pence,' said the driver. 'You're running the wrong way.'
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An English teacher wrote these words on the whiteboard: "woman without her man is nothing". The teacher then asked the students to punctuate the words correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman! Without her, man is nothing."
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One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed, one in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer, and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer, and started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU *******!!!!"

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232750. Be patient Banana, we will soon be back together and enjoying the shows again.

onen hag oll
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