Veet hair remover warning

klarzy · 25th June 2015, 20:34

This is a copy / paste from Facebook, my eyes are still watering....

THIS IS AN ACTUAL CUSTOMER REVIEW FROM A MAN ON AMAZON.CO.UK AFTER USING VEET HAIR REMOVAL CREAM FOR MEN. I ACTUALLY HAD TEARS ROLLING DOWN MY FACE WHILE READING IT!!!!!!!!!!!! SOOOO FUNNY!!!:

After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit if a treat.
I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn’t have long to wait.
At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the **** tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen, by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, toe the lid off and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing returned. Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn’t managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and an tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my ****. This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found its way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me.
This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before.
Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, **** in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my **** while muttering “ooooohhh that feels good” Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn’t heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout fired against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn’t the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn’t improve my status…so to sum it up, VEET removes hair, dignity and self-respect ~ Cerys

RPWC · 26th June 2015, 08:12

I have seen something similar to this before,a hoot!

Vossy · 26th June 2015, 09:21

Lol that was brilliant, I spat coffee out when I got to the sprout part.

grteam · 27th June 2015, 04:44

Now that I got my breath back and the house has woke up at 6.43 a.m., I can only say is the best read I had this year and the author deserves a sort of a prize...

75driver · 27th June 2015, 20:56

Just like that guy, I've tears in my eyes reading this....
Brilliant

Mr conehead · 28th June 2015, 18:28

Just read this recovering from cancer, hernia by my stoma, cried in pain with laughter but we'll worth it brill .

klarzy · 28th June 2015, 19:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr conehead

Just read this recovering from cancer, hernia by my stoma, cried in pain with laughter but we'll worth it brill .

Glad to bring a little joy while you fight the good fight sir..

Mr conehead · 28th June 2015, 19:31

Thanks still laughing now .

johnnyb44 · 28th June 2015, 20:39

Lol!!!!!! :-) :-) :-)

coolcat · 3rd July 2015, 14:06

No sprout should be subject to such inhumane suffering

25th June 2015, 20:34	#1
klarzy This is my second home none but not gone Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: March, Cambs Posts: 16,437 Thanks: 894 Thanked 4,247 Times in 3,025 Posts	Veet hair remover warning This is a copy / paste from Facebook, my eyes are still watering.... THIS IS AN ACTUAL CUSTOMER REVIEW FROM A MAN ON AMAZON.CO.UK AFTER USING VEET HAIR REMOVAL CREAM FOR MEN. I ACTUALLY HAD TEARS ROLLING DOWN MY FACE WHILE READING IT!!!!!!!!!!!! SOOOO FUNNY!!!: After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit if a treat. I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types...Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn’t have long to wait. At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the ** tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen, by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, toe the lid off and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing returned. Due to the shape of the ice cream tub I hadn’t managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of what I later found out was frozen sprouts and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and an tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my . This was not doing the trick as some of the gel had found its way up the chutney channel and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me. This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to in order to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the sprouts where no veg had gone before. Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my bell end pushing a sprout up my ** while muttering “ooooohhh that feels good” Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream and as I hadn’t heard her come in it caused an involuntary spasm of shock in myself which resulted in the sprout being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a sprout fired against your leg at 11 at night in the kitchen probably wasn’t the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day what the strange hollow in the ice cream was didn’t improve my status…so to sum it up, VEET removes hair, dignity and self-respect ~ Cerys __________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]….All praise Bananaswan….

26th June 2015, 08:12	#2
RPWC This is my second home 75 model car Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Newcastle upon Tyne Posts: 20,194 Thanks: 4,008 Thanked 5,083 Times in 3,114 Posts	I have seen something similar to this before,a hoot! __________________ Cheers. Rich…

27th June 2015, 04:44	#4
grteam Avid contributor 75 Mk II CDTi Saloon ''Charlie Bravo Tango'' Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: Bruges, Belgium Posts: 152 Thanks: 67 Thanked 41 Times in 26 Posts	Now that I got my breath back and the house has woke up at 6.43 a.m., I can only say is the best read I had this year and the author deserves a sort of a prize... __________________ My other car is a motorcycle with boxer engine At my third Rover 75 now [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

27th June 2015, 20:56	#5
75driver Posted a thing or two Rover 75 saloon, manual. Rover 75 Tourer, Auto. Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Newry Posts: 1,784 Thanks: 574 Thanked 443 Times in 371 Posts	Just like that guy, I've tears in my eyes reading this.... Brilliant __________________ 2006 75 Contemporary SE diesel manual (#1) 2003 75T Connoisseur SE diesel auto (For Comfort) 2005 75 Connoisseur SE diesel auto (Marmite duotone ) 2006 75 Connoisseur SE diesel auto (The last one?) 2009 E220 (For a change) 2018 L200 (For Big & Heavy Things) 1976 W114 250 Manual (For Sundays)

28th June 2015, 20:39	#9
johnnyb44 I really should get out more....... Rover 75 Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: north wales Posts: 2,721 Thanks: 1,774 Thanked 902 Times in 507 Posts	Lol!!!!!! :-) :-) :-) __________________ Replaced pcv filter, springs, plenum spy hole mod,Bonnet cable divider mod. Wax oiled.Air con recharged. Auto box oil changed , Jules plenum guard fitted .Smoked wind deflectors fitted.S/S Compensator.Club Grill Badge kindly donated by Andyg2011..

26th June 2015, 09:21	#3
Vossy Why? ... MG ZT+ Cdti Auto saloon. Join Date: Jul 2014 Location: Blockeswich, South Staffs Posts: 1,555 Thanks: 173 Thanked 483 Times in 330 Posts	Lol that was brilliant, I spat coffee out when I got to the sprout part.

28th June 2015, 18:28	#6
Mr conehead Newbie Rover 75 Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: Mold Posts: 22 Thanks: 6 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Just read this recovering from cancer, hernia by my stoma, cried in pain with laughter but we'll worth it brill .

28th June 2015, 19:31	#8
Mr conehead Newbie Rover 75 Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: Mold Posts: 22 Thanks: 6 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Thanks still laughing now .

3rd July 2015, 14:06	#10
coolcat This is my second home Audi Q3 TDI S-Line Quattro Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Clacton On Sea/On the boat somewhere Posts: 51,271 Thanks: 9,890 Thanked 12,235 Times in 8,232 Posts	No sprout should be subject to such inhumane suffering __________________ Jeff.