Speeding
 

An old lady is speeding down the highway when she spots a police officer wih a speed gun. The officer signals for her to pull over and then walks over with a smile and asks "what's the rush?"
The old lady replies "I'm late for work"
"Sure" replies the officer "what do you do?"
"I'm a rectal distender"
"A what?!" asks the officer "what does a rectal distender do?"
"Well" the woman replies "I insert a finger, then 2, then 3 and keep working until I can get a hand in, then i work some more until I can get both hands in, after that I work some more until it's 6 feet wide."
"What the hell do you do with a 6 foot a**hole?" asks the officer
"I give him a speed gun and stand him by the side of the road" replied the old lady with a smile.