Going to be a hard one today.............
 

.................................................. for me to get through. Today is my Val’s birthday and I would normally be getting ready to visit the cemetery with Red Roses. But now i’m 278 miles away, so cannot attend. I’m hoping that Val’s brother, Michael, goes and lays some flowers. I did think about travelling up yesterday and staying over till Thursday then travelling up to Norwich for Freddie’s funeral.

Then I would have had to drive back as far as Michaels before returning to Lymington on Friday, where I would be meeting the Southwest Crew for our annual pilgrimage to the IOW. But too much driving, plus my emotions would get in the way, and make driving unsafe, i’ve decided best not go. Coupled with the fact of losing my brother last year, December becomes the one month I can do with out.

But I’ll not be brooding, or sinking back into depression today, for I have work to do today. Helping Allen to take his fishing boat, “Happy Days”, up river to the boatyard for her winter holiday. She will be coming out of the water ready for routine maintenance. So at least my mind will be, along with my body, occupied.
No doubt I may take a photo or two.

So many thanks to Allen, and Val for our lift back to Saltash. I’ll be raising a glass or two this evening to say Thank You and to wish my Val Happy Birthday.

Bob, we each deal with these things differently, but my thoughts are that your Val will always be with you, in your heart and your mind, nobody can take that away from you. As to attending a certain location? you don't have to, she's travelling with you. Enjoy the memories.

Fred

I suggest we all set our alarms for Eight o’clock and all of us drink a toast

Never good to drink alone - but when has distance been an issue here....or what we drink?

Many thanks for the kind words and pm’s.

And I survived without falling in the river.

Michael phoned last night to say that he had been to the cemetery and laid flowers on both his parents and Val's graves.

That is thoughtful of him. Hopefully you feel a little comforted with that?

Tomorrow will be difficult for me too, it’s 2 years since my dad passed away. Like with Freddie, I’m struggling to get my head round the fact he is no longer here. I have a job to do in the morning, and after that,will be going to the crem to leave some flowers in the remembrance garden, where his ashes were scattered. Sadly it’s jot personal, as thousands of other followers ok have their loved ones’ ashes scattered there too,and the vases for flowers,round the perimeter,are not personalised. There is the option to purchase a kerb memorial,or a place in the “wall”, but they cost something like £500; and then you have to pay an annual upkeep fee of about 150.

But memories cost nothing, and that is what matters. Your Dad will be looking down just the same.

I had jis name put in the book of remembrance, so it will appear tomorrow and each forthcoming Dec 7th

Its a tough one especially at this time of year, they say that the grave is for the living for somewhere to go and remember, but I think we all know Val is never out of your thoughts Bob and remembered every single day, that's what counts.

We lost Dad over Christmas 20 years ago this year, and it being a "milestone" it will hurt a bit more this year, especially as my mums health is failing fast, we will make the regular visit on Christmas morning but I doubt Mum will make it again next year as the Alzheimers takes it toll, I don't visit that often I admit, but I have photos of him around our house and think about him all the time, I even talk to him, we shared a love of music and cars (its his fault!) and I still have one of his cars still which I will never sell.