How can life be so unfair?
 

Those who know Marina and I will know how she dotes on our two grandkids.
two boys ages 5 and 7.

The younger one was born with a deformed ankle and short leg and has to have years of surgery and leg frames to correct this, on top of that he was diagnosed with Cancer of the eye at 3 yr old and lost his eye.

Last year the older one was diagnosed with a hearing loss in one ear and they were unable to find a cause. Yesterday he woke up totally deaf in his good ear and none of the specialist he saw today as an emergency appointment know why, only that it is probably permanent. He has an MRI next week.

How do you explain to a 7yr old that he will no longer be able to hear anything, how do you explain to the parents that it is not their fault.

Goes without saying we are all a little disillusioned with life at the moment :(

Hi mate so sorry to hear about the boys hope they can find out what has happened and get it sorted.

Sorry to hear about this Dave. Explaining it is going to be a very difficult.

Sorry to hear about this news of your grand kids, I agree life can be so unfair to the most innocent at times.

Sorry to read this Dave, hope your all ok. I’ve been questioning the ‘fairness’ of life for a number of years now.

Life isn’t fair Dave, good folks go too early, children with illnesses etc.

I really feel for you mate, let’s hope the mri shows up an issue that can easily be sorted.

Such a shame, I hope it's not permanent.
In any event both grandkids are growing up knowing they are loved

Thats really upsetting to read.Hope things turn round for them and all concerned.

In a previous life I was party to the hosting of VIP visits to my work place and the visits from the Variety Club Of Great Britain struck a chord with me. Initially I had no knowledge of the cause when I unwittingly remarked to a fellow and more knowledgeable host that the visitors seemed to be very young (not one was of teenage years) and maybe what we were showing them might be a a few years before their time to understand and appreciate it.

My fellow host looked at me and said, I take it that you haven't hosted this type of visit before. These kids he said are all terminally ill with only months to live and next year we will host another visit but ... there will be a different group of faces as the ones you see now will no longer be with us. :grouphug:

That brought tears to my eyes and put all my problems and gripes firmly into perspective.
To have the joy of being able to listen to the humdrum of life then to have it taken away must be so soul destroying I cannot imagine, hopefully by some miracle some form of hearing returns for the young man.

Dave

I really feel for you and Marina, and the parents of your grandchildren, it must be very traumatic for all concerned, and after all you have been through over the years.

I hope and pray that they can help out your grandson at the hospital, and find the problem.

Best wishes to you all

Stuart

Life just really sucks at times. My partner is going through a truly horrific time at the moment and she doesn’t deserve it. I don’t know why people have to suffer like your family are doing at the moment Dave but I’m thinking of you all and hope there’s a resolution

So sad to read,

Hope the Doctors are wrong and it isn't permanent.

The parents must be shell shocked and the children bewildered. It is always sad to hear how good people are affected by illness.
I hope cures are found.

macafee2

That is absolutely terrible news for the family, it so unfair we sincerely hope they can find the reason behind it and maybe cure it, being a grandparents ourselves, cant imagine how we would react in this sort of circumstance.

Dawn and Julien.

I am almost at a loss as to what to write - I am so sorry to read this post.
Nobody knows better than Marina & yourself that when something is wrong with you you just tend to get on with it & do what needs to be done to get better.
With children ( as your grandchildren have already proven so well ) they seem to be fantastic at bouncing back & becoming even stronger.
What I have no hesitation in saying is that with Marina & yourself as family, your son & grandchildren could not ask for better parents/grandparents to support them at this challenging time.
I really do hope you get some positive news from the upcoming tests.

Take care
Steve.

Sorry to hear this, Dave. I hope they can sort the lads hearing out and soon.

I'm saddened to read your post Dave, and I can't imagine how you and Marina feel let alone how your grandchildrens parents feel. I sincerely hope that the doctors are wrong or that some kind cure can be found or done, I really don't know what to say other than it's no fault of the family and everyone must stay strong for the children.

I hope you enjoy Xmas as much as you can and hope you all have the best Xmas present you could wish for.

Martyn :(

Hi Dave. Erm... what to say? Desperately sad to read your post. Life does indeed throw cruel, curved balls which are unfair and undeserved.

Finger crossed that something can be done to make things better.

With my Love and hope to you and yours.

Andy.

I actually read this post yesterday, and was completely at a loss at how to reply.
As has already been said, let's hope the doctors can work out what's happening and find a solution.
I suppose the best you can do is soldier on and give those two lads the best times you can - all the best to you all Dave.

So sad to read your post Dave.

Fingers crossed for next week, and hopefully both lads will get all the treatment and help they deserve.

Somethings in this life just ain't right....

Kind regards
John

Run out of thanks, thanks for the support and all the pm's :bowdown:

Really sorry to hear about this Dave, best wishes to you all.

Hi Dave, I am sorry to read your family and grandchildren are going through this. On a practical level, it could be helpful to the child who has lost his hearing to have a special tablet for children, to help him communicate. We went through this with our nephew who lives with us. His mum died young last year from a brain tumour. From an early age, he lost his hearing and speech. With his speech, he can only make high and low octave sounds or screams out if he is unhappy. He had all the scans and assessments, nothing could be done. Last year he had a brain scan after having epileptic fits. He uses a laptop for communication and that helps him tell us what he is thinking or going through. His love, is to sit on a pony for an assisted ride at stables near us and he loves watching cartoons on TV. It is thought the MMR vaccination caused his deafness and brain damage.

Let’s hope the MRI shows if there is a problem causing the sudden deafness and something can be done to make his hearing right.

I was involved with Deaf people and learned BSL and it really is a great way to communicate with Deaf people and it’s often overlooked by the medical profession as they’re looking for a cure which may not be there. Obviously I still hope the young lad gets his hearing back but I know Deaf young adults who lost their hearing when young and they cope well communicating in sign language

Hi Les, I was sorry to read how your partner is having a hard time. How life can be cruel and at times difficult to understand. I sincerely hope she get through okay.

When our nephew discovered his hormones, he constantly masturbated and indulged in practices involving sexual pain. When I offered professional advice on how to manage this, his parents told me to keep out of it, not to interfere, as they had enough of professionals offering new treatments and raising false hopes, quite understandable.

Hi Dave,

It’s not often I read posts on the forum to my wife, but this one really moved me to discuss it with Juliette. Having a 12 year old of our own we both can’t imagine how it must feel for your Grandson and his parents, especially with what the younger one has gone through too. Life does deal out some cruel cards at times.

All I know is that you and Marina will both be supportive and strong for your family, it’s the way you are wired and that will help them cope with whatever else life wants to through at them.

Take care and think positively if you can.

Paul.

That makes two of us Mark, with what has happened in our family, and to other innocent, good people, it makes you question, why are we here?I no longer go to church, but having been brought up as a catholic, where it was preached to us that God loves us all, and is watching over us, yeah? Well if that’s the case how come the world is it war with itself, people lose their lives on a daily basis through mugging and stabbing, acts of terror etc Dave’s grandkids have done nothing to deserve this, my aunt who passed away recently, was a staunch catholic, like my mother, went to church every day, did a lot of work for the church and it’s community, visited sick parishioners in hospital,and their homes,and then gets stuck down with ovarian cancer, and taken from us in less than 4 months. Where was God when all this was going on? Why has he let this happen to Dave’s grandsons

Sorry Phil, I have tried my utmost to resist posting in response to this but temptation has gotten the better of me. :o

My GP once implored a patient to desist from doing this, allegedly. The inevitable response from the patient was ... why? :shrug:

:smilie_re: Because, said my GP. You are upsetting all of my other patients in my waiting room. :getmecoat:

No comment ;)

Most sorry to read your sad news, I sincerely hope that the deafness is temporary and just one of those inexplicable things as once happened to our daughter.

Many years ago she phoned on her way home from school saying she had to park her moped as she couldn’t see and could I come and pick her up, which of course I did. She’d totally lost her vision. Driving back through town I stopped at an optician friend, he couldn’t find any reason, a later visit to the quacks gave the same shrugged answer. Long story short, her vision returned a day later, the specialist put it down to stress at school. All very scary and thankfully never happened again.

We never discussed any negative future, only that the quacks/optician didn't know what was going on and that we'd do everything in our power to see her sight regained.

Hope you have a similar outcome to my daughter's.

Mike

Just to update this, our grandson has had his MRI but they have told us it probably wont point to anything they can do to make things any better but it will rule out or show anything serious.

He has regained between 15% and 18 % hearing in one ear.
They have told us that less than 20% hearing then a hearing air will not work but we have convinced them to try, so, we will see how it goes.

What you don't realise is how many little "stocking fillers" you buy the kids for Christmas that depend on them being able to hear. Some of the things we have just left in the cupboard...

Thoughts with you Dave, a very difficult and testing time for your family.

Technology is an amazing thing Dave, I hope things work out better. If the hearing aid doesn’t work then maybe a cochlear implant is worth looking into depending where the issue lies? Think of you all mate

Well, we are still awaiting the results of the MRI but our grandson Mason has been to the Leeds General Infirmary where he had his purpose made hearing aid fitted, none of us knew what to expect.

None of us were prepared for the smile that spread across his face as the doctors spoke to him, or the tears in his dads eyes, his first comment outside was how noisy some cars were and the music was also so loud.

From this it would appear his one "good" ear hasn't been that good for sometime. He will have to have check every 3 months on his hearing level to make sure there is no further degradation of his hearing and this is still a real possibility but for now he has functional hearing and we are so thankful for that.

The doctors/consultants at LGI have been great and importantly honest about the possible outcomes of this, I suppose that is why we are so surprised by the improvement the aid gave which is hopefully long term, time will tell. They have explained that the aid is at the limit of its capabilities on many of its frequencies so we just have to hope this is a stable condition.

Thanks to each and everyone of you on here for replies, PM's and offers of help, really moving and sincere posts and the support is second to none.
Thank you All.

That is wonderful news Dave, really pleased for you all, positive thoughts for many more smiles to come. :D

Great news to hear and fingers crossed etc that Mason's hearing loss does now stabilise.

All the best,

Martyn.

Very sad to hear the earlier news and now fingers crossed that things will be stable and hopefully there's more positive news to come.

We're here for you.

All the very best to you and yours.

Andy.