when friendships break down
 

From time to time friendships break down. A crack appears, something happens, something is said. The crack is repaired. Another crack appears, you ignore it worried of making it worse but it gets worse anyway. Eventually you stand at the edge of the crack and look across at how wide it is, you look down and see how deep it is, you look sideways and see how long it is.
You wonder if it is worth repairing or if to let what is on the other side, break off and slip away.

A once close friend, is now someone you are not sure you want to share time with.


macafee2

Gosh! that sounds deep, words that you don’t mean can be said in a moment of anger, instantly regretted, don’t stay silent and let it fester say you are sorry and make up, this happens in many marriages or freindships.

Rev

Been there. Just when you think everything is getting back to normal after a brief tiff, then wham you get hit right between the eyes with a made up story that knocks you sideways. And 25 years of friendship and trust evaporators overnight.
That was 4 years ago, the moving on was hard to begin with but as one friendship died new ones have replaced it.

I sometimes wonder the what if’s, but no point in wondering. Life goes on around us and we need to keep up with the flow.

Don't wait for others to make the first move, take action, then if that chasm cannot be healed, move on.

:) not marriage thank goodness but a friend. Nothing said in anger but perhaps as Transvision vamp sung, "something's are best left never said"

Don't want to lose them as friends as we remember the good times but the crack is there and perhaps it is time to drift apart. Naturally we would feel some responsibility and guilt if this were to happen.

We will try later to smooth things over and see what happens

macafee2

I can relate to this Ian, as a victim rather than instigator. I was mates with this bloke for over 30 years, but he said something very selfish and hurtful when my dad died, so I totally ignored him and never spoke for 9 months. Eventually we met by chance and he apologised sincerely, so I accepted it and we carried on as before.
That was until July last year, the day before my birthday I was at his house talking to him, he was wanting me to run him somewhere, but I didn't have time. The next day (my birthday), he sent me a snotty text saying I wasn't a true friend, and I only used him for my own gain. Needless to say a complete lie on his part, so I sent a calm reply telling him he forgets all the things I have done for him and given him over the years. I have now blocked him from contacting me and deleted his number from my phone. If we meet and he is civil to me, I will grant him the same courtesy, but the friendship can never be restored. Said person is an alcoholic, so very self centered

Sometimes ‘sorry’ certainly does seem the hardest word. More often than not a rift happens because the friend says something in one frame of mind while the other friend is in a very different place and the intended subtlety is missed.

The assumption that we are all on the same page and possess mind reading powers, it’s happened on here for instance, can be the cause of the seed of doubt getting sewn. A true friend is beyond value, especially when needed or needful. I would always ask if we were alright, just to make sure before assuming the worst.

In the case I refer to Ray, no. He has had his second chance, and I will not allow myself to let him cr@p on my face a third time. Damage is done and cant be repaired.

Energy Vampires
 

People who believe they have a right to your time as their life is more important than yours.

Lots of examples if you google this.

We had a “friend” who would regularly beg a favour - we did get fed up with her constant neediness and gently started saying “no - sorry - not available because we are doing something else”

The response was emotional blackmail “You’ve really let me down”. “Why are you doing this to me” - etc.

The truth was she was disorganised, lazy and loved to gossip.

In the end when she wanted a lift somewhere and we had another different event we were going to - we got the “your are letting me down” nonsense

So I sent a txt saying “A lack of organisation on your part does not constitute any form of emergency on ours”

I’d like to say she saw sense and became a true and trusted friend. But the reality was a horribly abusive TxT and her then gossiping and slagging us off to anyone who would listen.

Mutual friends (good ones!!!) told us this - she moved onto more gullible people.

Our world is a better place without her.

Watch out for energy vampires - they drain you.

Get rid of them. They need you - not the other way round.

In your case Rich, I don't blame you. You gave him more chances than I would!