It's like a scene from a Hammer Horror movie:puke:

You sure that's a V8 symbol there Rod;):D

Guten abend Herr Leopard und andere - wie geht es dir?
Ich dünn es ist sehr unfreundlich zu Ihrer glänzenden Kopf beziehen :o

Any tips for how we can survive up there in no mans land:D:getmecoat:

Das ist gut, ja

Does look slightly .... erm .... erm .... how can I put this .... erm .... androgynous http://www.smileycons.com/img/emotions/122.gif

How do you know it's not the truth ;):D:D

I'm trying to pronounce it but failing badly;)

I know and I have pictorial evidence ;):getmecoat:

Guten Abend Herr Reworht, bin ich schamlos mit einem Übersetzer zu antworten; mein Französisch ist okay, aber ich spreche kein Deutsch noch nicht! Sie sind nur eifersüchtig auf meine makellos präsentiert Haar! :D:D:D

The amount of styling product you use to get it looking like that:getmecoat:

You need to go on a course in preparation:

• Drink nowt but Newcastle Brown Ale for a month
• Wear nothing more than shorts, singlet and open toed sandals for a month (NO socks, 'cos they look absolutely naff with sandals)
• Eat nowt but cold black pudding and pork pies for a month
• Do not under any circumstances have a shower for a month - the extra layer of dirt will help insulate you

In no way will this help you survive, but it'll make for a REALLY interesting journey North - especially for any passengers you may bring with you :D

Bet you watched the one show tonight ;)
I'll take on board your tips and shall try my best to see them out:D

That's pretty damned good that Stu - translates back as:-
"Good evening Mr. Reworht, I'm shameless to respond with a translator, my French is okay, but I do not speak any German! You are just jealous of my hair immaculately presented!"

My German goes back to GCE O Levels - in 1961 !!
I reckoned it was an easier language to learn than my other option - Latin :D

As regards hair - I'm jealous of anyone who has any - never mind whether its immaculately presented or not :o

As it happens - I didn't - too busy doing the year-end accounts for the local Allotment Club. They pay me in kind - big bags of fertiliser (which may actually be a comment on the quality of my accounting) :D

That's funny for all the wrong reasons, sorry to all those follically challenged:getmecoat:

You will also need altitude sickness tablets,as you'll be near the top of the North Pennines,none of this sea level namby pamby stuff,sherpa's don't go this high :getmecoat:

It's just that Frank Skinner was on there tonight talking about Room 101 and one of the things put into 101 was socks worn with Sandals:D

Are you calling me fat ;) :D

When I had my beard, I was often mistaken for Bill Oddie - I did once consider swapping places with him just to get a little closer to Kate Humble :getmecoat:

Will I need some rope and oxygen?
Oh hang on, that's for another weekend I had planned;)

The rope will come in handy for the monkey in Hartlepool :D
Don't forget your whip :getmecoat:

This gets more interesting by the minute:D
Stu, are we thinking of going up together perhaps, John, yourself and I :}
Think of the mischief we could get up to. We would be like fish out of water, such fun:D

Blast i missed you Ian.
:bowdown:
Oh well catcha next time old friend

Sorry, I just couldn't resist:D:getmecoat:

Grow a beard mate i have.

I've seen Bill Oddie; you're going to have to lose height somehow; I'm no giant by any means but he is quite short!

Ooh... Katie Humble... Even though I only like ginger women, she is quite attractive! :wantpics:
:D :D :D

Steady I just choked on my Irn Bru! :eek:

Do you all have the necessary passports, entry visas and the compulsory medical insurance?

Oh 'eck - I've just seen the clock - supposed to be picking the daughter up from Zambia (or Zumba or something - I know it starts with Z and ends in A !) at 10.00 - her Fiesta is about to get a caning 'cos I'm late :D
See you at breakfast men - don't forget - the Great North Training Regime stars in the morning - cold black pudding for breakfast ;):}

Yeah...http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:A...IPMUWlhO5pHlvg

My beard alternates between goatee for summer and full for winter, which will hopefully offer me protection when we venture north:)

I know, it was subtle though;)

Hope it's not Zambia, you've got no chance in a Ford Fiasco :D

He looks scary, wouldn't want to meet him on a dark night:}

That's editing on a grand scale :D

Well it's been a blast on here tonight and now I'm off to catch up on some much needed beauty sleep;)
Night night chillouters and see you all for Black Pudding in the morning:drool4:

Will do, ttfn folks:bed:

Morning - anyone ouit there in the ether?
I have loads of cold black pudding & chilled Newcastle Brown for the trainees ;) with either porridge (and syrup) or marmite on toast for those of us NOT on the Great North Training regime :D

I'm here and ready for my 'interesting' breakfast Rod;)

Are you learning the language as well Stu?
That shows how seriously your taking all this;):getmecoat:

Nay Nay Nay you dont need to learn the language tha knows, just watch a few episodes of Emmerdale:D

Dictionaries, DVDs etc...
 

I am in training Derek, hence the 'interesting' breakfast of Newcastle Brown Ale and cold Black Pudding:drool4:followed by:puke:

He's so far north he is already fully trained:D

This is my training video:D

http://youtu.be/TJxGi8bizEg

Was it a dulux shade:D

A brief taster:
http://www.wikihow.com/Speak-With-a-Yorkshire-Accent :D

That is a very informative guide you have got there Rod,
I shall study that on my Ablutions break;)

Don't worry Derek, I shall pace myself:D
I know the video is for the North West but I presume it's instruction can be taken as read that it is O.k for the North East as well:D:getmecoat:

Woah - don't tha' be putting us on t'East of t'Pennines in t'same boat as them on t'West - we have diff'rent coloured roses tha' knows! :D

There is something you are all forgetting.

How will you understand me.:D

Sir tam of shotts has quite a cultured accent him being a knight of the realm :Dn that know.

?? Speak in English man, what was that:D
You forget that I was born in Bonnie Scotland George, I'm almost a Brother;)

Im like rab c only worse.:D

A look a like or a sound a like;):getmecoat:

Both.
My string vest is at the cleaners getting the beer sta:Dins out .

Sorry! fine thanks and you?

Not if I miss you first! ;)

Or are you just acting the goat?

Aye thae lives wrong side ot thill from wer we wer!

Full face beard matey . I looklike scott of the antarctic.


How is ya horseface :D

You still missin the pies mate.:D

Joining em up derek .:D

We'll have to organise a re-enactment of the Battle of Wakefield ;);) :D

We have a mobile Fish and Chip Van now called Cod en Bleu! :getmecoat:

He does Pukka pies too! :bowdown:

So I can get me arteries reclogged on a regular basis now!

I knew really, just testing you;)

Doh! zut alors!

I think I need a history lesson! I did work in Wakefield for a few years.

My son was born in Beverley as we lived in Spaldington nr Goole at the time. So he's a tyke I suppose.

Just talk amongst yourselves while i chomp on my french thingy and:D slurp me tea.

Oh la vache!

Je voudrais un croissant s'il vous plaît:drool4:

Ah - the East Riding - along with the North and West Ridings, long lost to politicians who can't live abide a bit of tradition and seem determined to airbrush our regional identity out of history :(

Rod, The Eagle has Landed, many thanks:bowdown:

D'accord, et un chocolatine peut-etre?

Yeah! I was born in Horwich between Wigan and Bolton which apparently is in the GMC and not Lancashire.

Just plain with butter for me thanks:}:drool4:

Don't worry Derek, I only know a little French:)
Anything else and I'm sunk as well:}
I shall try and stick to Anglais, oops English from now on:getmecoat:

We had a holiday in France a couple of years ago. I was surprised how much of my school French came back to me.

Bonjour, oops don't it again, Good Afternoon Steve:}

Bon de douche.:D

I found exactly the same Steve - all credit to those teachers of long ago (well, in my case long ago) for making it stick :}

Inshallah:D

That's a bit posh - having one of those in your house ;) :D

Mangetout Rodney, mangetout:D

Nae problem - apart from the specifics, I think its an interesting social history in some ways - references to monetary values and customs etc. all give a bit of an insight into the early 20th century

It`s a delboyism:p:

Hi Rod,
I'm going to have a good read up tonight Sir.

Never mind singing, I have a new version of "Snow White" for you to learn Derek! ;)

"Once there was a young princess who was not at all unpleasant to look at and had a temperament that many found to be more pleasant than most other people’s. Her nickname was Snow White. After her mother’s death, her father, the king asked another woman to be his queen. Snow white did her best to please her new mother-of step, but a cold distance remained between them.

The queen’s prized possession was a magic mirror that would answer truthfully any question asked it. Now, years of social conditioning in a male hierarchical dictatorship had left the queen very insecure about her own self-worth. Physical beauty was the one standard she cared about now, and she defined herself solely in regard to her personal appearance. So every morning the queen would ask the mirror:

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, Who’s the fairest one of all?”

Her mirror would answer:

“For all it’s worth, O my queen, Your beauty is the fairest to be seen.”
That dialogue went on regularly until once when the queen was having a bad hair day and was desperately in need of support, she asked the usual question and the mirror answered:

“Alas, if worth be based on beauty, Snow White has surpassed you, cutie.”

At this, the queen flew into a rage. She ordered the royal woods person to take Snow White into the forest and kill her. The woods person, a kind soul, sadly agreed to these orders, and led the girl, who was actually now a young woman, into the middle of the forest. He told Snow White of the oppressive and un-sisterly order of the queen and told her to run as deeply as she could into the forest.

Snow White ran deep into the woods. Just when she thought she had fled as far as she could form civilization and its unhealthy influences, she stumbled upon a cottage. Inside she saw seven tiny beds, set in a row and all unmade. The beds looked so inviting that the tired youngster curled up on one and immediately fell asleep.

When she awoke several hours later, she saw the faces of seven bearded, vertically challenged men surrounding the bed. She sat up with a start and gasped. One of the men said, “You see that? Just like a flighty woman: resting peacefully one minute, up and screaming the next.”

When Snow White finally regained her senses, she begged, “Please, please don’t kill me. I meant no harm by sleeping on your bed. I thought no one would ever notice.”

“Don’t try to play victim with us, kid!” Snarled one man.

“Yes, we are known as the seven towering giants!” cried another, “And we are dedicated stewards of the earth and live here in harmony with nature. To make ends meet, we also conduct retreats for those who need to get in touch with their primitive masculine identities.”

“So what does that involve,” asked Snow White, “aside from drinking milk straight from the carton?”

“Your sarcasm is ill-advised,” warned the leader of the Seven Towering Giants. “My fellow giants want to get rid of our corrupting feminine presence, and I might not be able to stop them, understand? My men, we must speak our hearts openly and honestly. Let us adjourn to the sweat lodge!”

Meanwhile, back at the castle, the queen rejoiced at the thought that her rival in beauty had been eliminated. She puttered around her boudoir reading Elle and Glamour, and indulged herself with three whole pieces of chocolate without purging. Later, she confidently strolled up to her magic mirror and asked her same, sad question:

“Mirror, mirror, on the wall, Who’s the fairest one of all?”

The mirror replied,

“Your weight is perfect for your shape and height, But for sheer OOOOMPH!, you can’t beat Snow White.”

At this news, the queen clenched her fists and screamed at the top of her lungs. For years, her insecurities had been eating away at her until now they turned her into someone who was morally out of the mainstream. With cunning and malice, she began to devise a plan to ensure the non viability of her daughter-of-step.

A few days later, there was a knock on the door of the cottage. Snow White opened the door to find a chronologically gifted woman with a basket in her hand. By the look of her clothes, she was apparently unfettered by the confines of regular employment.

“Help a woman of unreliable income, dearie,” she said, “and buy one of my apples.”

Snow White thought for a moment. In protest against agribusiness conglomerates, she had a personal rule against buying food from middle persons. but her heart went out to the economically marginalized woman, so she said yes. Little did she know this apple was poisoned.

The queen burst into tears.

“Why, what’s the matter?” asked Snow White.

“You’re so young and beautiful.” sobbed the queen. “How do you stay in such perfect shape?”

“Well, I meditate, work out in step aerobics three hours a day, and eat only half-portions of anything placed in front of me. Would you like me to show you?”

“Oh, yes, yes, please,” said the queen. So they started out with 30 minutes of simple hat-ha yoga meditation, then worked out on step for another hour. As they relaxed afterwards, Snow White cut her apple in half and gave a piece to the queen. Without thinking, the queen bit into it, and both of them fell into a deep sleep.

Later that day, the Seven Towering Giants returned from a retreat in the woods, elaborately decked out in animal skins, feathers, and mud. With them was a prince from a nearby kingdom, who had come on this male retreat to find a cure for his impotence (or, as he preferred to call it, his involuntary suspension from phallocentric activity.) They were all laughing and high-fiving until they saw the bodies stopped short.

“What has happened?” asked the prince.

“Apparently our house guest and this other woman got into some sort of cat fight and killed each other,” surmised one giant.

“You know,” said the prince, “this might sound a little sick, but I trust you guys. I find that younger one attractive. Extremely attractive. Would you fellows mind…um…waiting outside while I…?”

“Stop right there!” said the leader of the giants. “These half-eaten apple pieces, that filthy-costume–this has all the earmarks of some sort of magic spell. They’re not really dead at all.”

“Whew,” sighed the prince, “that makes me feel better. So, could you guys take five and let me…?”

“Hold it, Prince,” said the leader. “Does Snow White make you feel like a man again?”

“She certainly does. Now, could you guys…?”

“Don’t touch her! You’ll break the spell.”

Then the pieces of poisoned apple fell from the mouths of Snow White and the queen, and they awoke from the spell.

“What do you think you’re doing? Put us down!” they shouted. The giants were so startled they almost dropped the women to the floor.

“That’s the most sickening thing I have ever heard!” shouted the queen. “Offering us around like pieces of property!”

“And you,” said Snow White to the prince, “trying to make it with a girl in a coma! Yuck!”

There was much shouting and name-calling, but the queen eventually had her way.

Before the Seven Towering Giants could be evicted from their home, though, they packed up their sweat lodge and moved deeper into the woods.

The prince stayed on at the spa as a cute but harmless tennis pro and Snow White and the queen became good friends and earned world-wide fame for their contributions to sisterhood.

The giants were never heard from again, save for little muddy footprints that were sometimes found in the morning outside the windows of the spa’s locker room." ;)

And for doodles next trick .

Hansel and gretel meet the wolfman.:D

Wasn't exactly yesterday for me either! Trouble was I'd say something in French then be lost about two or three words into their response :shrug:

Puts me in mind of the guy who had to create a password which had to have eight charcters . . . . so he put in Snow White & The Seven Dwarfs . . . . OK :getmecoat:

Good evening people,
Tonight is Kebab night......:drool4:
I shall mainly be tucking in to a mixed kebab with chile sauce and garlic sauce on a bed of salad.
Oh did I mention chips;)
Cue lots of peeps discussing all manner of nasty things one can expect from eating such a thing :D

Well a bedroom that will stink of garlic in the morning for:D one thing .

At least he'll be safe from the http://i1356.photobucket.com/albums/...ps01c4070d.gif :D

Good thing they don't do Kebabs on a bed of sprouts;):getmecoat:

Got my silver bullets at the ready as well:D

Good evening all!
 

Here you go guys:drool4:
http://i649.photobucket.com/albums/u...96DB14561F.jpg

I'm on the beer as we speak Derek:drool4::D

10 years on I still get that too!

How do you get the plate to stick to the wall like that? :shrug: ;) :D

Looks like blood on that knife to me too!:(



that reminds me that Silent Witness is on!

Just about to have the mince left from yesterday , always tastes better the next day , will have it with buttered warburtons :drool4::drool4::D:D

that cucumber looks really fattening :D:D:D

If you saw the grease in that you'd know that it would stick to anything, better than no nails:D

its not your signal its the forum mate , did you get my pms:drool4:

you might want to come a calling :D:D

I may do indeed! LOL! Got to say wow; eight thousand posts! Never thought that would happen!

Starting to feel peckish again; seeing that kebab hasn't helped! :D:drool4::drool4:

go raid the fridge lad :D:drool4:

Morning Derek, morning all, just a light breakfast for me after the blow out from last night :D

I was thinking more like a piece of grapfruit and a yoghart;)

Morning all, porridge for me I think, I need fortification (!) as Asda awaits...

Morning gents - porridge for me too - Sainsburys, Lidl and whatever else takes SWMBO's fancy I'm afraid for me today :(

Enjoy the retail therapy Rod;)

Good morning Andy ok porridge coming up.
Are you down to go to the Frog on the 24th of next month

You Sir are a Gentleman and a Scholar :bowdown:

No - the therapy is what you need AFTER you've been to the shops :D

Alreet pet!
 

I know but after last nights feast:drool4::D
No room at the Inn so to speak:getmecoat: