You would have been alright if you had drunk Cocacola. Chris.S. (for our "older" readers).

Earlier today in Asda, i Saw a fella whose trolley was full to the brim with hand sanitizers, baby wipes, soaps, everything that people need!!

I called him a selfish Man, gave him a low down about the elderly and mums etc who need these types of things. Told him he should be ashamed of himself! ����

He said: “that’s all good and well mate but I work here, can I carry on filling the shelves now?” ��

I drove the M25 yesterday lunchtime from A12 to M3 ..
Did the whole journey apart from the 50 mph areas with the cruise set at 70 mph..
That's got to be a first...

Surely, that's a bog standard job!

WIPE that smirk off your face ........ ;)

The local swimming baths have decided to stay open.But as a precaution against the virus,they have added 3 Doz Bottles of Fairy Liquid to the pool.
But be aware,if you *art in the water,everyone can see where the bubbles are coming from.

A day late but.......

Q: What do Irish Ghosts drink on St Patrick’s Day?

A: BOOs !!



It’s the way I tell them!

Just heard that supermarkets have now issued the following restrictions.

Tesco. 3 multipacks of toilet roll, 3 bottles of hand sanitisers, 3 x 1 kg packs of pasta. 2x1kg packs of rice.

Asda. As above but 2 packs of toilet paper.

Waitrose. 1 lobster, 250g of foie gras, 6 quails eggs and two bottles of Chateau Neuf.

LIDL . 1 MIG welder, 1 pair of funky pink wellies. 1 wetsuit

My Son's Not Pleased
 

The government is closing the schools, but children of essential workers are able to attend. I have informed my son, he's not pleased, he's 42 years old and last went some years ago.