[FLYING BANANA]

I left Michael’s in good time seeing as the A406 aka the North Circular can be a right pain. It still took 45 minutes to get to the crematorium in Barkingside, last time I was there was to see my late Uncle off a few years back. I did drive up my old road but drove past the old flat without a second glance.

The sun was out as the hearse pulled up, no funeral cars as the family had decided to make their own way there. I stood by the door and waited, everyone came up to me and said, “you must be Bob”. I replied “yes”. It seemed that the Banana’s reputation had gone before us.

We followed the coffin in, there was just one spray of flowers upon the coffin, just the immediate families choice. Bob’s mum had decided not to attend the funeral and had chosen to stay at home. At 93 and unsteady on her feet plus suffering from the early stages of dementia she had decided not to come.
The first piece of music was very fitting for Bob, “Stairway to Heaven” by Led Zeppelin and it was the full album version.

The vicar stood up and said his piece then Sue stood up and spoke about her brother. There was things I never knew that opened my eyes about Bob. He was a hoarder, a bit like my brother in law. But Bob kept all his train and bus tickets. There was all the literature from the beer festivals that we attended.
Both my mate Mick, Val and I got a mention as it would seem that we were his only true friends. And Banana got a mention as well.

Then another piece of music was played, “All along the watchtower” by Jimi Hendrix. Again the full album version. Then Bob’s nephew Steve stood up and talked about how Bob had taught him to play chess. He talked about Bob’s fishing holidays. The same place three times a year, and for the last 25 years at a private lake in Herefordshire. He even stayed in exactly the same room in the same hotel. That’s some doing.

Then it was my turn to stand up to speak. I felt dizzy with that clammy feeling. I only knew Sue, everyone else was a stranger to me. Some names I knew as Bob had told me in the past but until today I had never met.
I had written notes on what to say but I had left them at home in Cornwall.
I spoke about how we first met in the Doctor Johnson pub in Barkingside, now a Co-Op store.

I spoke how Bob was instrumental in me meeting my Val. For our wedding reception he had made us a barrel of homemade Bitter ale, 9 gallons of it. He came around to the flat with the barrel with strict instructions on not to touch it for at least 4 days. And then draw off the first pint which had to be tipped away.
It went down very well at the reception.
I spoke about Bob’s love of his music, well into heavy metal although he never ever attended a live concert. I talked about his fish ponds and how he looked after the fish liked they were his children.

There was other things that I would have talked about but I thought I had said enough.
The last piece of music was very fitting for Bob. “Gone fishing” by Bing Crosby and Louis Armstrong. We filed past the coffin. I stopped and touched the wood and said my goodbyes, it was only then I felt the tears welling up. I managed to get outside without embarrassing myself.

And then was an arm around me, along with a tissue. It was Sue’s daughter Claire. She walked with me to a bench and got me to sit down. I apologised for crying. But Claire said not to worry but just let the memories continue to roll down my cheeks. Then a bottle of water appeared. I was told to sit still till I felt ok to continue. I felt so embarrassed.

Chris came over and asked if I was ok to drive back to the house, I said yes that I would be ok once I was behind the wheel.
We then convoyed back to the house, but I still felt embarrassed.
I managed to find a parking space outside a neighbours house. It now started to rain.
I was met inside the door and ushered into the back room. Someone helped me off with my jacket and told to sit down. A mug of sweet tea was given to me and everyone was ushered out of the room. I was left to compose myself. Sue and Claire came back in and sat either side of me and told me to relax. Sue took my pulse, she is a retired district nurse. I felt so foolish to break down like I did. But they said that it was to be expected and I had done well not to collapse.

Eventually I felt a lot better. Sue asked me when was the last time I had eaten, breakfast was the last food I had eaten and that was just a slice of toast. Be diabetic didn’t help. They had done a spread and Claire went off to get me some sandwiches plus some sweet cake. Plus another cup of tea.
I started to feel better and was allowed to go into the other room to speak to everyone.
Everyone asked if I was ok. Bob’s nephew Chris offered to drive me back to Michael’s in Banana, with Steve following up. But I said I would be ok after a wander around the garden to get some fresh air.

That soon cleared my head, it was raining. The cool drops on my face woke me up.
I went back inside and finally got to speak to Bob’s Mum, Joan. She remembered me and joked about when used to go to the cinema with Bob, Mick, Val and I. She even remembered when we went to the wrong cinema to watch a film that wasn’t showing there. I had totally forgotten about that.

To be continued……………………..