The 75 and ZT Owners Club Forums - View Single Post

Kandyman · 30th October 2006, 23:32

Q: How many MAC programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Three halves and a whole. The first half to unscrew the light bulb. The second to drag the old bulb to the trash. The third half to formulate a strategy in replacing the light, and the whole to buy an IBM and change it a lot quicker.

Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, they just hold it in the socket and wait for the whole world to revolve around them.

Q: How many Macintosh engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None - it has to be done by a local authorized dealer.

Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, but it costs $4000 and you have to replace the motherboard.

A: Two: One to ask the socket to eject the old bulb, and one to insert the new one.

A: Three: One to change the bulb, one to copyright the method for changing the bulb, and one to call in the lawyers on anyone who infringes on the "look and feel" of the bulb changing method.

A: Mac users don't screw, they just click the genital icon.

A: Just one, but the new light bulbs aren't compatible with the old sockets, so he has to buy a complete upgrade or a new light.

A: None - there's no documentation available, so you have to wait until a third-party supplier comes out with a solution.

A: Did you try rebooting with extensions off ? (Notes : On the Macintosh, certain types of crashes can sometimes be attributed to not-quite-compatible extensions. One way to find out if one of the extensions is at fault in a crash is to reboot with extensions off and see if it crashes again.)

Q: How many Apple and IBM nuts does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: An infinite number: nothing useful gets done while they're arguing. Finally a disgusted generic computer user (who will use any type that is in front of him) gets up and changes the bulb, elbowing the participants aside. The size of the crowd arguing seems to be a function of time, although whether or not the function is exponential is not known.

Q: How many Apple employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Seven. One to screw it in and six to design the tee-shirts.

Q: How many Apple programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Only one, but why bother ? Your light socket will just be obsolete in six months anyway.

30th October 2006, 23:32	#1
Kandyman Banned ROVER 75 2.5 V6 Connoisseur SE Limousine 2004 Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Welling Posts: 10,995 Thanks: 0 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts	How many Macintosh Q: How many MAC programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Three halves and a whole. The first half to unscrew the light bulb. The second to drag the old bulb to the trash. The third half to formulate a strategy in replacing the light, and the whole to buy an IBM and change it a lot quicker. Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One, they just hold it in the socket and wait for the whole world to revolve around them. Q: How many Macintosh engineers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None - it has to be done by a local authorized dealer. Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One, but it costs $4000 and you have to replace the motherboard. A: Two: One to ask the socket to eject the old bulb, and one to insert the new one. A: Three: One to change the bulb, one to copyright the method for changing the bulb, and one to call in the lawyers on anyone who infringes on the "look and feel" of the bulb changing method. A: Mac users don't screw, they just click the genital icon. A: Just one, but the new light bulbs aren't compatible with the old sockets, so he has to buy a complete upgrade or a new light. A: None - there's no documentation available, so you have to wait until a third-party supplier comes out with a solution. A: Did you try rebooting with extensions off ? (Notes : On the Macintosh, certain types of crashes can sometimes be attributed to not-quite-compatible extensions. One way to find out if one of the extensions is at fault in a crash is to reboot with extensions off and see if it crashes again.) Q: How many Apple and IBM nuts does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: An infinite number: nothing useful gets done while they're arguing. Finally a disgusted generic computer user (who will use any type that is in front of him) gets up and changes the bulb, elbowing the participants aside. The size of the crowd arguing seems to be a function of time, although whether or not the function is exponential is not known. Q: How many Apple employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Seven. One to screw it in and six to design the tee-shirts. Q: How many Apple programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Only one, but why bother ? Your light socket will just be obsolete in six months anyway.