[wraymond]

Has anyone tried training squirrels?

When wandering aimlessly around Tesco, but closely following Celia just in case she needed cookery advice, well you never know, I came across the nut department.

One section was for unsalted peanuts with added raisins. For £1. Perfect bait and cheap. Since then, at lower cost than club red membership, I have trained two big ones and two of their new season’s offspring to attend a midday party.

Entering the garden at the end of January at the same time every day, I clicked my tongue a few times and tossed three small handfuls on to the roof of my newly built workshop. It worked, as they recognised the sound was associated with a nut. It started with just one of them coming down from their tree and then the other parent. Share and share alike I supposed.

They would sit on the roof at the far end, it’s 18 feet long, wait until I’d gone then scamper to gobble as many as they could. Then, gaining confidence, the two nippers joined in and did their best to get some.

They now get there before me, waiting.
Tails flicking.
Frowning.
This must turn into a nightmare. I think I’ve been trained.