[FLYING BANANA]

In January this year I sang the praises of the NHS. I got to be on a promotional video for the NHS. I got interviewed by both the BBC and ITV. I had an interview with James Churchfield on BBC Radio Cornwall.
Since then the NHS has gone downhill for me.

My 3 camera procedure was scheduled for tomorrow at 11am so imagine my surprise when I received a phone call from Liskeard hospital asking me why I had missed my appointment this morning at 07.00. I replied that my appointment is for tomorrow at 11.00. No, said the voice on the other end. You was due to attend this morning as a day patient. You was sent a letter. The only letter I have got is for tomorrow’s appointment.

So I told the voice on the other end of the phone that I would drive down and bring the letter with me. So I took Banana for a run to Liskeard Community Hospital, it’s not far. About 11 miles.
Parked up and hobbled in on my one crutch. Went to the reception desk and explained why I was here. The lady there turned out to be “the voice on the other end of the phone” from this morning.

I showed her the letter I had been sent. She took the letter and went into the office. Another lady came out to man the desk. I sat down and waited for the other lady to come back. Eventually she came back with a nurse. It turned out that I had been sent the wrong letter, my letter had gone to another Robert and he had my letter. He had turned up at 07.00 this morning and was told that had the wrong day. They only realised this after he gave them his dob and his address along with his symptoms.

He had got as fears as undressing and putting the hospital gown on. He was asked why he hadn’t taken the laxative and he said that it had stated in his letter that it would be given to him this morning.
They mixed up the two letters.

So now my appointment for tomorrow is cancelled and I have a new appointment for next week where I will be coming in as a day patient at 07.00.
Where I will be given a liquid laxative to totally clear me out. And they will be taking, another, sample plus a urine sample along with some blood. I was given a copy of the letter I should have received, so that I could read through the instructions leading up to the day. This copy is dated wrong but it is the letter I should have got. My new appointment will be in the post.

So when I got home my neighbour Marion was out, so I sent her a text explaining that tomorrow’s appointment was cancelled. When she got home I would be along to explain what had happened. About an hour later she knocked on my door. So over a cup of tea I told her the saga. And I said I would get a taxi there as it was a 07.00 appointment. “You will not get a taxi, I will take you. See you settled. Then I will come home. When you are ready to come home you WILL phone me and I will come and get you.” Was her reply in rather a stern voice. I protested but it was all in vain.

I love my neighbours, they are so good to me. I got moaned at by my other neighbour yesterday for overdoing it after I washed BBB, then I washed Marion’s car then set about cleaning Banana. Karen phoned Marion and they both stopped me from doing anymore with threats of removing all my footwear and hiding the crutches, AirBoot and the Zimmer frame.
You cannot beat that that for the care that my neighbours concern.

So yesterday afternoon I went with Marion to the local garden centre where she bought some plants, then into the restaurant for afternoon tea. And she wouldn’t let me pay. I was told to sit by the win and rest the ankle. I had to admit it was aching a bit.

As for my internal issues all seems to have returned to normal, well it had up and till last night when I had a go at giving myself food poisoning. The chicken breast I had cooked, turned out to be off. But I had taken a couple of bites but decided it didn’t taste, or smell, right. So that went into the food recycling bin along with the rest of my dinner. I just cooked some chips and had a couple of chip butties.

And spent the night wishing I had shares in Andrex toilet paper. Sat on the loo most of the night. Good job I hadn’t taken that laxative after all.
We will see what next week brings.