You are probably doing nothing wrong- I have only ever succeeded in getting one bush off a lower arm with it actually on the car, and this was only with excessive brute force - much hammering and using a massive crowbar.
I always take the arm off now to replace the bushes. It does mean you have to crack the inner ball joint/taper that goes into the subframe, but I have never failed to shift one yet using a good bearing puller- there are other tricks that people use to shift this tight joint. With the arm off the car, I put it in the bench vice then use the bearing puller once again to gently and easily pull the bush off the arm. Much more relaxing than fighting under the car trying to shift the bush in situ.
Pete
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