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1st April 2020, 12:53 | #71 |
I really should get out more.......
MG ZTT Join Date: Jun 2014
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Just a quick scribble it's cold out 😀IMG_20200401_134358.jpgIMG_20200401_134327.jpg
Sent from my Lenovo TB-X103F using Tapatalk |
1st April 2020, 18:57 | #72 |
This is my second home
rover 75 saloon.Renault Captur 1.5 diesel. Join Date: Mar 2013
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I really have a caring wife, i woke up this morning, after 10 days into our lockdown, to find her holding a pillow over my face,to keep the virus away.
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- John B signing out Maralyn was born 9th Sept 2004 14.44.48. 103,597 of 112,381 (75s) 3,021 of 4,744 Connie SE 239 of 1.685 Platinum Gold. "Maralyn": Platinum Blonde,Troublesome,Unpredictable. |
1st April 2020, 19:56 | #73 |
Aged to perfection!
Rover 75 Conn SE Tourer Join Date: Nov 2006
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Talking of testicles lifted this from another forum ....
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and proceeds to give him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?" Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine." The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely: "Are - my - test - results - back?"
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Nobby....... Sometimes I talk to myself, Then we both LAUGH! |
2nd April 2020, 08:39 | #74 |
This is my second home
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The cat has just asked me if I'd like the radio left on for company while he goes out
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The man behind redfive |
3rd April 2020, 14:08 | #75 |
This is my second home
rover 75 saloon.Renault Captur 1.5 diesel. Join Date: Mar 2013
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If you can smell their *art then you are too close.
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- John B signing out Maralyn was born 9th Sept 2004 14.44.48. 103,597 of 112,381 (75s) 3,021 of 4,744 Connie SE 239 of 1.685 Platinum Gold. "Maralyn": Platinum Blonde,Troublesome,Unpredictable. |
3rd April 2020, 15:09 | #76 |
This is my second home
MG ZT CDTi Join Date: Jan 2014
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I called with my 80 year old neighbour to see if she needed anything from the shops. She said she did, so I gave her my list. Well there is no point us both going
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It is not gloss primer .............. it is duct tape silver! |
4th April 2020, 18:12 | #77 |
This is my second home
rover 75 saloon.Renault Captur 1.5 diesel. Join Date: Mar 2013
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Lets look on the bright side: No Debenhams, No Bonmarche, No Next, No River Island, No Matalan, and no Ladbrokes. This time next year me and swmbo will be MILLIONAIRES.
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- John B signing out Maralyn was born 9th Sept 2004 14.44.48. 103,597 of 112,381 (75s) 3,021 of 4,744 Connie SE 239 of 1.685 Platinum Gold. "Maralyn": Platinum Blonde,Troublesome,Unpredictable. |
5th April 2020, 00:03 | #78 |
I really should get out more.......
BMW X3 2.0D Join Date: May 2017
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The amount of jokes about the coronavirus has reached worrying numbers.
Scientists claim we are in the middle of a pundemic.
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Current car: BMW x3 2.0d (The one with the M47 engine!) Rolled off the line on December 14th, 2004. |
5th April 2020, 00:42 | #79 |
Give to Learn
Freelander 2 Join Date: Aug 2010
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I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner" I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here
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Arctic Givology Learn to Give Everything is Achievable ad altiora tendo. Check out our Nano meet dates http://www.midlandsnanomeets.co.uk/ http://www.the75andztclub.co.uk/index.php?thepage=howto " You do the work , we supply the expertise " |
5th April 2020, 01:49 | #80 |
This is my second home
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This joke might even go viral....
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Only my opinion, obviously, so please don’t shoot me if it doesn’t match yours! |
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