A Little Zen

Dragrad · 5th April 2009, 00:25

A Little Zen ..... Just for Fun — 22 Ways to Keep Us From Taking Ourselves Too Seriously
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaking tyre.
3. It is always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbour’s milk, that’s the time to do it.
4. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced...., you can’t be promoted.
5. Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don’t succeed, sky-diving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
13. Some days you’re the fly; some days you’re the windscreen.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like ‘The Force’. It has a light side and a dark side, and it binds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.
20. Experience is something you don’t get, until just after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

And finally..

22. To save face...... keep lower half shut!!

lady zed · 5th April 2009, 06:00

Brilliant.

majedm75 · 6th April 2009, 11:42

Plain truthful. I don't see any sarcasm

Dragrad · 6th April 2009, 17:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by majedm75

Plain truthful. I don't see any sarcasm

A work colleague, who I'd said something sarcastic to (now lost in mists of time), replied in a very nasty manner "Sarcasm IS the lowest form of wit" To whit I immediately replied "I choose my wit to suit my company" BOOM BOOM!!

5th April 2009, 00:25	#1
Dragrad This is my second home *None DROWNED** Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Cardigan Posts: 33,339 Thanks: 1,257 Thanked 1,664 Times in 1,081 Posts	A Little Zen A Little Zen ..... Just for Fun — 22 Ways to Keep Us From Taking Ourselves Too Seriously 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone. 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaking tyre. 3. It is always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbour’s milk, that’s the time to do it. 4. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced...., you can’t be promoted. 5. Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else. 6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 7. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments. 8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes. 9. If at first you don’t succeed, sky-diving is not for you. 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 11. If you lend someone £20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. 12. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything. 13. Some days you’re the fly; some days you’re the windscreen. 14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket. 16. A closed mouth gathers no foot. 17. Duct tape is like ‘The Force’. It has a light side and a dark side, and it binds the universe together. 18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. 19. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving. 20. Experience is something you don’t get, until just after you need it. 21. Never miss a good chance to shut up. And finally.. 22. To save face...... keep lower half shut!! __________________ Andrew Ich Dien Problem solving is... lateral thinking SEARCH FIRST ...ASK LATER... Last edited by Dragrad; 6th April 2009 at 23:12..

5th April 2009, 06:00	#2
lady zed This is my second home Rover 75 Saloon Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: On the edge Posts: 6,659 Thanks: 1,354 Thanked 1,210 Times in 716 Posts	Brilliant. __________________ it's all about the first person you want to tell good news to

6th April 2009, 11:42	#3
majedm75 I really should get out more....... Rover 75 Saloon 2.5V6+Auto - Pack Luxe & Sterling Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Paris-France & Cairo-Egypt Posts: 2,122 Thanks: 6 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts	Plain truthful. I don't see any sarcasm __________________ Majed [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Member no. 36 - Samarkand, I miss you so much "Miss April 2010"! Last edited by majedm75; 7th April 2009 at 10:11..