parents, doing the right thing

macafee2 · 21st January 2019, 19:02

our daughter is moving house and new house needs decorating.
Neither her or her husband want to live in a mess so are thinking of keeping the house they have, while they decorate but cant pay two mortgages for too long.

At the time they hope to get the keys to the other house we are on holiday.

what's the right thing?
1 take our holiday and help them when we can
2 cancel our holiday and spend time helping them

we have other holidays booked or planned

we would like to do both but wife just does not have enough holiday time

macafee2

LeRich · 21st January 2019, 19:22

Take the holiday!

MSS · 21st January 2019, 19:32

Do your duty to the kids - sacrifice the holiday.

Your duty to your kids comes first, pleasure and enjoyment second.

trikey · 21st January 2019, 19:39

You go on holiday, leave the wife at home to assist with the decorating

operamagorum · 21st January 2019, 19:39

If the new house is empty, vendors will often allow access for redecorating between exchange and completion

Dallas · 21st January 2019, 20:00

Option 2.

I doubt both of you will enjoy your holiday anyway, knowing you are needed back home.

Guilt trip.

On the other hand, I'm sure daughter and husband are capable of decorating their home themselves, can they call on some close friends to help, or even husbands parents?

If you're not confused enough, what about if you and mrs macafee2 go ahead and cancel holiday, and then daughter and husband get given a whole new moving date which is further forward and would have allowed you and mrs macafee2 to have the holiday after all.

Oh no...

Sorry I have been of no help.

wullie480 · 21st January 2019, 20:11

What about sending your daughter and son in law on holiday whilst you decorate the full place for them coming home.

For me I’d probably help them decorate and move the holiday if possible.
Could they not do it bit by bit when they’ve moved in?

MSS · 21st January 2019, 20:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dallas

Option 2.

I doubt both of you will enjoy your holiday anyway, knowing you are needed back home.

Guilt trip.

On the other hand, I'm sure daughter and husband are capable of decorating their home themselves, can they call on some close friends to help, or even husbands parents?

If you're not confused enough, what about if you and mrs macafee2 go ahead and cancel holiday, and then daughter and husband get given a whole new moving date which is further forward and would have allowed you and mrs macafee2 to have the holiday after all.

Oh no...

Sorry I have been of no help.

This is what I admire here - decisiveness!

stocktake · 21st January 2019, 20:35

Take the holiday, they will understand.

One life, live it. Nice to help your kids when you can and when the chips are down we would all sacrifice whatever was needed for our offspring but think about it. Decorating!! Really!! Because they don't want to rough it for a short while. Sorry if that part sounds harsh but its real life

Sometimes you need to put yourself first. it's not a guilt trip its something you are looking forward to and if you cancel then it will be them who should feel guilty.

If you find this unbearable, (But you shouldn't) offer to help with the extra payments if they are struggling.

mileshawk56 · 21st January 2019, 20:53

Take your holiday, let them do it their way they are adults, its nice to be willing to help but? Chris S.

21st January 2019, 19:02	#1
macafee2 This is my second home Rover 75 Saloon & Tourer Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Lincoln Posts: 14,912 Thanks: 1,630 Thanked 3,032 Times in 2,181 Posts	parents, doing the right thing our daughter is moving house and new house needs decorating. Neither her or her husband want to live in a mess so are thinking of keeping the house they have, while they decorate but cant pay two mortgages for too long. At the time they hope to get the keys to the other house we are on holiday. what's the right thing? 1 take our holiday and help them when we can 2 cancel our holiday and spend time helping them we have other holidays booked or planned we would like to do both but wife just does not have enough holiday time macafee2

21st January 2019, 19:22	#2
LeRich Posted a thing or two Rover 75 Cont SE 1.8T Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Cheshire Posts: 1,082 Thanks: 215 Thanked 232 Times in 178 Posts	Take the holiday! __________________ Rover 75 1.8T Contemporary SE Auto Starlight Silver MBB

21st January 2019, 19:39	#4
trikey Premium Trader Rover 75 Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Devon Posts: 33,764 Thanks: 8,837 Thanked 14,831 Times in 8,030 Posts	You go on holiday, leave the wife at home to assist with the decorating __________________ Lest we forget..

21st January 2019, 20:11	#7
wullie480 This is my second home 1 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Banned Posts: 5,195 Thanks: 528 Thanked 1,022 Times in 786 Posts	What about sending your daughter and son in law on holiday whilst you decorate the full place for them coming home. For me I’d probably help them decorate and move the holiday if possible. Could they not do it bit by bit when they’ve moved in? __________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

21st January 2019, 20:35	#9
stocktake Vis Whiz Rover 75 2.5 auto Saloon Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: LEEDS Posts: 20,587 Thanks: 2,057 Thanked 3,056 Times in 1,621 Posts	Take the holiday, they will understand. One life, live it. Nice to help your kids when you can and when the chips are down we would all sacrifice whatever was needed for our offspring but think about it. Decorating!! Really!! Because they don't want to rough it for a short while. Sorry if that part sounds harsh but its real life Sometimes you need to put yourself first. it's not a guilt trip its something you are looking forward to and if you cancel then it will be them who should feel guilty. If you find this unbearable, (But you shouldn't) offer to help with the extra payments if they are struggling. __________________ Dave... Lost a few stones and a Gall Bladder and part of a bile duct and all of my dignity in the suppository incident

21st January 2019, 19:32	#3
MSS This is my second home Rover 75CDT, Jaguar XF-S 3.0V6, V'xhall Omega V6 Estate, Twintop 1.8VVT, Astra Estate and Corsa 1.2 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Suffolk Posts: 7,083 Thanks: 283 Thanked 624 Times in 440 Posts	Do your duty to the kids - sacrifice the holiday. Your duty to your kids comes first, pleasure and enjoyment second.

21st January 2019, 19:39	#5
operamagorum Loves to post BMW 330i Touring Join Date: Jul 2015 Location: Blandford Forum Posts: 378 Thanks: 184 Thanked 159 Times in 89 Posts	If the new house is empty, vendors will often allow access for redecorating between exchange and completion

21st January 2019, 20:00	#6
Dallas This is my second home 1979 Capri 1.6L, 1982 Capri 1.6L, 2016 Dacia Stepway Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Dorset Posts: 8,595 Thanks: 3,496 Thanked 3,397 Times in 2,218 Posts	Option 2. I doubt both of you will enjoy your holiday anyway, knowing you are needed back home. Guilt trip. On the other hand, I'm sure daughter and husband are capable of decorating their home themselves, can they call on some close friends to help, or even husbands parents? If you're not confused enough, what about if you and mrs macafee2 go ahead and cancel holiday, and then daughter and husband get given a whole new moving date which is further forward and would have allowed you and mrs macafee2 to have the holiday after all. Oh no... Sorry I have been of no help.

21st January 2019, 20:53	#10
mileshawk56 Posted a thing or two MGZT Join Date: Jul 2015 Location: Berkshire Posts: 1,281 Thanks: 1,738 Thanked 299 Times in 216 Posts	Take your holiday, let them do it their way they are adults, its nice to be willing to help but? Chris S.