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Old 25th February 2019, 21:06   #71
FLYING BANANA
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I still find the evening difficult, 9 years since, but now Iím in a new home Iím hoping it will improve.

Family and friends will pull together Trevor to see you ok. It just takes time.

Some recover from a loss quickly, some like me take our time getting there.
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Old 25th February 2019, 21:12   #72
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Hello All.
Well in the early hours of tomorrow (26th) it will be one month since Anne passed. The last month has been difficult, I've kept busy and in the main the daylight hours have been just about bearable. Evenings are hard, I'm not a big TV watcher even though vintage Radio & TV is my hobby. The family went out for lunch yesterday, it was nice enough but conversation was sparse as we were all thinking about Anne and the 26th.

The visitors have now more or less stopped but last week I had my old gaffer from Sony UK come down to see me on the 21st from Strathpeffer which was really kind and a nice afternoon.

It will take its time to adjust, I'll never forget Anne and she will always be in my thoughts.

Thanks everyone.
As said Trevor the online community are here for you if you want to chat.
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Old 14th March 2019, 21:41   #73
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Hello to all my good friends here.

The last few weeks have not seen any real changes, I have though tried to carry on and do things to keep me occupied. Car wise the the Panda just keeps rolling on, I gave it it's annual service on that very nice day in February we had, an oil change, filters and brake check. I was then invited to go to Walters who was my brilliant gaffer in Sony Service during the 90's. He was the one who drove all the way down to see me from Strathpeffer last month, what a wonderful thing to do I then made a plan to go up which I did on Tuesday, I was going to stay till this Sunday. Although the weather was pretty nasty the Panda did all what it should and returned 54mpg. I got there around 2pm but arrived at a family disaster, so sadly I only stayed one night which was sad. Walter and his wife Sandra had to leave on Wednesday morning to go to Worcester. Being fair it actually did me the world of good as although I was pretty upset leaving home on Tuesday morning I did it and once underway enjoyed the drive, the longest since I was paid off since my redundancy in 2015. Coming home the weather up north was sunny from Inverness to Perth, I kept playing the three songs from Anne's funeral on repeat in the car at nearly full volume, I'm sure the other cars could hear them, its a cracking stereo in the panda with six speakers (Lounge Spec) and loads of bass. The run home was like therapy. I now know I can do it without too much mental stress. I have made a plan to go back once Walter's family problems are sorted out.

Obviously I massively miss my darling Anne, life will never ever be the same again, I still talk to her and always will do, no one could ever fill her shoes and I'd never want anyone to ever do that. I am though trying to keep busy and keep in touch with friends and do my hobbies. Time is a healer of course but it is still early days.
God bless you all.
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Old 14th March 2019, 22:30   #74
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Obviously I massively miss my darling Anne, life will never ever be the same again, I still talk to her and always will do, no one could ever fill her shoes and I'd never want anyone to ever do that. I am though trying to keep busy and keep in touch with friends and do my hobbies. Time is a healer of course but it is still early days.
God bless you all.

Trevor, sorry I don't pop in the forum often and I have just spotted this thread - sorry to hear the bad news. I went through it almost four years ago. It will keep coming back and hitting you in the face, it still does me, despite moving on with another partner.
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Old 14th March 2019, 22:35   #75
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Trevor, sorry I don't pop in the forum often and I have just spotted this thread - sorry to hear the bad news. I went through it almost four years ago. It will keep coming back and hitting you in the face, it still does me, despite moving on with another partner.

Hi Harry.
Yes I had forgot about what happened to you, I remember you had a pretty awful time as well as loosing your loved one. I agree there are things that remind you of your partner/wife and these certainly can be a set back. As yet our bedroom is as it was, I vacuum and dust every couple of days but I don't have the heart to put stuff away nor look in her wardrobe or drawers yet, only time will tell on that front.
Hope you are well Harry, take care of yourself.
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Old 15th March 2019, 00:48   #76
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I've also been a bit of a stranger to the forum recently & have just seen this too so offer my sincere condolences to you & your family Trevor.
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Old 15th March 2019, 17:37   #77
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Hi Harry.
Yes I had forgot about what happened to you, I remember you had a pretty awful time as well as loosing your loved one. I agree there are things that remind you of your partner/wife and these certainly can be a set back. As yet our bedroom is as it was, I vacuum and dust every couple of days but I don't have the heart to put stuff away nor look in her wardrobe or drawers yet, only time will tell on that front.
Hope you are well Harry, take care of yourself.

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Yes, it is always hard dealing with the effects, but it has to be done. I had a particular problem, the sheer amount of stuff which needed to be dealt with - lots, enough for several people. Christmas and birthday presents kept unopened, mementoes just stored and of course the clothes going back decades. I just got it firmly in mind that they were just things, nothing more and got stuck in with some help. Charity shops and passing them on to car booter sales took care of a lot of the stuff. Better that someone else can make use of them, than they sit there for ever more just occupying space.. It sounds harsh, but that's were they will end up anyway, or in the bin, but give friends and relatives a chance to pick out anything for themselves first.
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Old 15th March 2019, 20:33   #78
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Hi Harry.
I've two daughters and they have been told to "help themselves" all they have taken is "soap & glory" a watch and a bottle of Poison perfume and that's it. Once I'm in a better frame of mind I'll no doubt have to do something. The other thing is Anne kept the ashes of her mum and dad on top of the wardrobe and now Anne is there too. I know some are able to move on quickly and I in a way envy them but we were so close and its still so hard that I'll not see Anne again, that makes the grieving process longer and the thought of clearing things really frightening. Only time will tell Harry.
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Old 15th March 2019, 20:55   #79
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Hi Harry.
I've two daughters and they have been told to "help themselves" all they have taken is "soap & glory" a watch and a bottle of Poison perfume and that's it. Once I'm in a better frame of mind I'll no doubt have to do something. The other thing is Anne kept the ashes of her mum and dad on top of the wardrobe and now Anne is there too. I know some are able to move on quickly and I in a way envy them but we were so close and its still so hard that I'll not see Anne again, that makes the grieving process longer and the thought of clearing things really frightening. Only time will tell Harry.

Of course it will. In your case it was rapid, in my case it was a very slow deterioration so probably less of shock, but always a shock.
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Fix a poor handbrake; DIY ABS diagnostic unit; Loan of the spanner needed to change the CDT belts; free OBD diagnostics +MAF; Correct Bosch MAF cheap; DVB-T install in an ex-hi-line system; DD install with a HK amp; FBH servicing.

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