Second chance, what would you do? - Page 3

lady zed · 23rd June 2016, 16:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gubba Bump

I would like to go back and ask what made my Dad walk out of my life at the precise moment he did - I was 18, grown up, there was no argument, no trouble, nothing in which I could think of that would make him get up and literally walk out of my life. I would go back and understand what was happening that afternoon. I oddly feel no anger, just mere confusion as to what he was thinking? that was nearly 10 years ago and not one single ounce of contact from him. So I would go back and try to understand him; ironically now, people always say I have such a good psychological understanding of human nature

He probably always intended to get in touch when whatever caused him to walk settled down. But with every passing day, reaching out gets a little harder and before you know it 10 years have gone by. Have you ever tried to trace him?

Astraeus · 23rd June 2016, 22:27

Well, what heart felt messages we have had un this thread. Thank you to all for sharing.

My own depends on whether we are talking about going to a time you were happy, without worries to enjoy that feeling one more time or to go back and have a chance to rectify or change something.

First..I suppose my happiest, coseted time is in Elgin at my grandparents house. With both my parents and my brother there as well. He had a shed round the back and a sliding window that opened over the path that went straight up to his fabulous greenhouse at the top of the garden. To give a picture this was a working garden. Raspberries, strawberries, lettuce, carrotsand the only peas I have ever eaten without thinking yuk. Fresh from the pod. The greenhouse at the top was a heated one with parafin heating. Full of tomatoes and back then the only yellow ones I had ever seen and tasted. I can sense the smell now! We had trips up and down in the wheel barrow, used the two carts he had built us. Mine bigger (I was older) painted up like a train and my brothers smaller red one. Fixed shoes ( Granda did this for extra pennies) potted plants. Charged my Folks a penny to pass the window...with a brush handle as a barrier.
I can remember lying in bed in the bedroom off the lounge hearing the TV and my Granda, Grannie, mum and dad blethering away. You coukdn't quite hear what they were saying but at that moment all was at peace with my world.

Now the other...a change/ rectify....funnily enough about a girl. I was engaged to when I was 21 she 17. I believed a story told to me about her by her two best friends. Threw my rattle out of the pram and went down another path. It was not until years later I discovered it was all rubbish, too late to change. I hurt her very badly and in doing so myself too. Big style. As did the fact that at the time I believed what I had been told. It actually physically hurt. I coukdn't understand why she had done it. ( she hadn't actually but you know what I mean) Went to a disasterous relationship primarily for revenge purposes.

Never a day goes by and all that......
What a clown!

On the other hand if I changed that I wouldn't have Wendy, Sarah, Sean and the
grandkids. Life is full of little butterfly wing flutters that end up making massive changes...

Now if I Could only do one or the other...that bed in Elgin has a nice warm glow...on the other hand.....

Who knows...

Gubba Bump · 24th June 2016, 08:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by lady zed

He probably always intended to get in touch when whatever caused him to walk settled down. But with every passing day, reaching out gets a little harder and before you know it 10 years have gone by. Have you ever tried to trace him?

I tried quite a few times to trace him, but after several failed attempts (and several unexpected bits of info/rumours turning up; such as debts and cheat allegations) I started to lose faith and trust, and like you say, before I knew it 10 years had gone by....

trimani · 24th June 2016, 19:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by trimani

I would like to go back to the moment I saw my future Wife walking up the aisle to marry me. Words cannot express what she looked like.

That was 58 years ago, and we still have one another, and love each other more than ever.

Incidentally, the product of this wonderful marriage is:

4 Wonderful Children
12 Wonderful Grandchildren
12 Wonderful Great-Grandchildren.
1 more Great-Grandchild due this week - Boy.

Not much time left for cleaning the Rover

trimani (ALF)

Riley has arrived

Born 2.25pm 23rd. Mum & Son doing well, Dad drunk

trimani (ALF - Proud Great- Grandad again

)

klarzy · 24th June 2016, 19:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by trimani

Riley has arrived

Born 2.25pm 23rd. Mum & Son doing well, Dad drunk

trimani (ALF - Proud Great- Grandad again

)

congrats to all

barney bear · 24th June 2016, 20:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by trimani

Riley has arrived

Born 2.25pm 23rd. Mum & Son doing well, Dad drunk

trimani (ALF - Proud Great- Grandad again

)

Congratulations Alf, more presents to buy now

zedhed · 25th June 2016, 09:20

I would go back a couple of days before my daughter was stillborn in hope something could have been done.this was in december,and dont think the rest of our days will ever be the same again.

lady zed · 25th June 2016, 09:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by zedhed

I would go back a couple of days before my daughter was stillborn in hope something could have been done.this was in december,and dont think the rest of our days will ever be the same again.

I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine what you are going through.

zedhed · 25th June 2016, 09:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by lady zed

I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine what you are going through.

Thanks lady zed.they say time is a healer,but something like this,there is nothing to take away the pain.worst thing was there was only a matter of days till due date.we had a cremation,and her ashes are in the cabinet along with her photo now,and i cry every day just looking at het.

Lynyrd Skynner · 25th June 2016, 09:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by zedhed

I would go back a couple of days before my daughter was stillborn in hope something could have been done.this was in december,and dont think the rest of our days will ever be the same again.

My wife and I had the very same experience 10 years ago , on the wednesday the scan was fine 2 days later our little daughter Alex had passed dont why or how just happened it was tuff time for all having to come home and dismantle the cot and clear all the pre bought baby stuff away ....

It has got easier with time but it was slow and hard , counselling helped me just talking and crying helped mend a broken heart we still miss her every day
a year later we had our lad Jake who we consider is Alex's gift to us ...

Dont be affraid to talk about her it helps....

23rd June 2016, 22:27	#22
Astraeus Regional Secretary North Scotland MG ZS Exclusive 1.0T Auto 2022 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Tayport Posts: 5,754 Thanks: 1,676 Thanked 1,855 Times in 1,058 Posts	Choice Well, what heart felt messages we have had un this thread. Thank you to all for sharing. My own depends on whether we are talking about going to a time you were happy, without worries to enjoy that feeling one more time or to go back and have a chance to rectify or change something. First..I suppose my happiest, coseted time is in Elgin at my grandparents house. With both my parents and my brother there as well. He had a shed round the back and a sliding window that opened over the path that went straight up to his fabulous greenhouse at the top of the garden. To give a picture this was a working garden. Raspberries, strawberries, lettuce, carrotsand the only peas I have ever eaten without thinking yuk. Fresh from the pod. The greenhouse at the top was a heated one with parafin heating. Full of tomatoes and back then the only yellow ones I had ever seen and tasted. I can sense the smell now! We had trips up and down in the wheel barrow, used the two carts he had built us. Mine bigger (I was older) painted up like a train and my brothers smaller red one. Fixed shoes ( Granda did this for extra pennies) potted plants. Charged my Folks a penny to pass the window...with a brush handle as a barrier. I can remember lying in bed in the bedroom off the lounge hearing the TV and my Granda, Grannie, mum and dad blethering away. You coukdn't quite hear what they were saying but at that moment all was at peace with my world. Now the other...a change/ rectify....funnily enough about a girl. I was engaged to when I was 21 she 17. I believed a story told to me about her by her two best friends. Threw my rattle out of the pram and went down another path. It was not until years later I discovered it was all rubbish, too late to change. I hurt her very badly and in doing so myself too. Big style. As did the fact that at the time I believed what I had been told. It actually physically hurt. I coukdn't understand why she had done it. ( she hadn't actually but you know what I mean) Went to a disasterous relationship primarily for revenge purposes. Never a day goes by and all that...... What a clown! On the other hand if I changed that I wouldn't have Wendy, Sarah, Sean and the grandkids. Life is full of little butterfly wing flutters that end up making massive changes... Now if I Could only do one or the other...that bed in Elgin has a nice warm glow...on the other hand..... Who knows...

25th June 2016, 09:20	#27
zedhed Posted a thing or two zt saloon turbo Join Date: Sep 2015 Location: Tipton Posts: 1,461 Thanks: 1 Thanked 167 Times in 132 Posts	I would go back a couple of days before my daughter was stillborn in hope something could have been done.this was in december,and dont think the rest of our days will ever be the same again.