Dealing with bereavment

[Jamie]

Hello everyone,

having just been given the all clear from my own little health drama, my thoughts turned to my dad...It is almost four years since he passed away and I have just re-read all of the posts.

It still brings tears to my eyes but also my heart goes out to those of you who also commented on your own lost loved ones...I havent forgotten the kind remarks and support.


It has been some time since I dropped in here, Christine and I are busy bringing up our little boy who is now a happy and smart 4 year old...I still wish dad could have seen him but nevertheless life is good here.


I hope you are all well? Jamie

[FLYER]

Hi Jamie.

I dont have time to read all the replies to your original thread starter but having just lost a very good friend I know how you felt when you posted up your first thoughts .

Death is a part of life of that there is no doubt .

No doubt you see some of your dad in your wee boy .

Stick in there jamie and I,m glad you have dealt with your own problems.

[sworks]

Good to see you posting again Jamie, glad things are going ok

[coolcat]

Hi Jamie,
Thanks for bringing us up to date and good to see you posting.
As George says, loved ones passing is something we all have to deal with and it brings comfort to hear others words of sympathy .

[cossie dunc]

Hi Jamie

When I read your opening post I don't mind telling you It made me cry

I lost my dad just over a year ago and my good mate just over a month ago

They were two people I admired and looked up to, they both influenced the guy I am today

Your recent post shows us all that life does go on and there is a little light at the end of the tunnel

As one wise old women once said to me "life's no fair son, get used to it"

[stevestrat]

Hi Jamie, my wife and I are still in the early stages of coming to terms with losing my parents, the way we lost my mother is particularly difficult. Just last June my father had a massive stroke, like a bolt of lightening, totally unexpected. He was as strong as an ox, walked every day, cycled into town to get his paper every day weather permitting. He hung on for 12 days in hospital, never regained consciousness. My mother was crippled with arthritis and my father had done everything around the house. We live just a couple of miles away and spent as much time with my mother as we could. Tragically, we just couldn't replace my father and 10 days after his funeral my mother decided she couldn't go on without him. What made it worse was we were in the house when she did it, she was tired and went for a lye down, we checked on her about every 30 mins, went through to check and found her.

We were both diagnosed with PTSD and depression, counselling, happy pills on tap if we wanted them. The counselling helped my wife but I just found it strange. As if it wasn't difficult enough, I inherited my father's pride and joy, big Suzuki XL-7, I had it a couple of weeks when a Freelander came straight out of a side road and nailed me, car was a write off. That hurt, really hurt I felt a real connection with my father through that car. I had tears in my eyes collecting the stuff from the car at the repair centre.

It is a little easier now than it was, the memories aren't as painful but there are still times I just tune out, go vacant, just stop and think about them. Little Abbey pictured below was my mother's dog, she's settled fine with us but there are times I wonder what's going thru her mind.

[FLYER]

Originally Posted by stevestrat

Hi Jamie, my wife and I are still in the early stages of coming to terms with losing my parents, the way we lost my mother is particularly difficult. Just last June my father had a massive stroke, like a bolt of lightening, totally unexpected. He was as strong as an ox, walked every day, cycled into town to get his paper every day weather permitting. He hung on for 12 days in hospital, never regained consciousness. My mother was crippled with arthritis and my father had done everything around the house. We live just a couple of miles away and spent as much time with my mother as we could. Tragically, we just couldn't replace my father and 10 days after his funeral my mother decided she couldn't go on without him. What made it worse was we were in the house when she did it, she was tired and went for a lye down, we checked on her about every 30 mins, went through to check and found her.

We were both diagnosed with PTSD and depression, counselling, happy pills on tap if we wanted them. The counselling helped my wife but I just found it strange. As if it wasn't difficult enough, I inherited my father's pride and joy, big Suzuki XL-7, I had it a couple of weeks when a Freelander came straight out of a side road and nailed me, car was a write off. That hurt, really hurt I felt a real connection with my father through that car. I had tears in my eyes collecting the stuff from the car at the repair centre.

It is a little easier now than it was, the memories aren't as painful but there are still times I just tune out, go vacant, just stop and think about them. Little Abbey pictured below was my mother's dog, she's settled fine with us but there are times I wonder what's going thru her mind.

I remember you telling us this at the time steve and as i said then i dont know how you coped with that .

Putting oneself in your shoes at that time is hard to concieve.

[carlpenn]

Originally Posted by Jamie

Hi Folks....sadly my dad passed away on thursday and I am currently coming to terms with his absence.


he passed away in my mums arms.

I never got to tell him how much I loved him and I miss him terribly.

Albert Newman 1921 - 2008

I am sorry to hear this.

I highlighted the points above because I wanted to comment them specifically.

First, he passed away in your Mothers arms. I myself could not think of anywhere better to leave this life than in my Wifes arms. To spend your final moments coveted by the one you have loved so much, to have raised your children with, to have spent many happy days with and equally many bad days, to simply have shared your time with.

Secondly, just because you did not tell someone you loved them, does not mean they did not know it. Words are just words, they are sounds that pass from our Mouths into the air like a breeze. What matters is what we know and feel. Your Dad would have known you loved him. All Dads do. It is the things we do and the moments we share that prove our love to each other, that certain grin you gave him, or a look, saying thanks for helping, just the little things, they are what truly showed him you loved him.

I hope I have not caused you upset or offence and I hope that you find your own way of passing through this sadness.

Condolences

Carl.

[majedm75]

Carl, I second that.

Jamie, All my sympathies again. Glad you are keeping strong. Cheers,

[MrDoodles]

I've recently passed the 18th anniversary of my dad's passing and still miss the old ****** even now!

Best not think about it too much, or I'll set myself off!