Dealing with bereavment

[Jamie]

Hi Folks....sadly my dad passed away on thursday and I am currently coming to terms with his absence.

Its been a horrible week, although he was poorly he'd battled on with so many problems...we thought hed keep it up forever...at 87 years old, he was a WW2 veteran although TiAs (mini strokes) robbed him of many of his precious memories including his heroic effort in the D day landings.
In later life he fell and broke his hip which almost finished him off, but still battled on.... two years later he was diagonosed as suffereing from asbestosis, ostioperosis, and collapsed vetibrae in his spine....he battled on for two more years during which time he deleloped DVTs in both lungs and laterly in his heart...still he battled on.

Sadly in the early hours of last Thursday after fighting his illness for 6 years and being the spiritual and moral leader of our Family for 56 years.... he passed away in my mums arms.

I was at the house 20 minutes from my brothers frantic call as were my brothers and sisters, but still too late.

no words can describe the emptyness and loss I feel, no amount of talking can justify the injustice and humiliation of old age and death....I have been waging my own battle since last week...a mental struggle with beliefs and hopes. I cant even begin to contemplate what is in store for us after we pass away....but Dad....He never doubted, a devout Christian who said his prayers right up to his last night. I hope they were heard.

I never got to tell him how much I loved him and I miss him terribly.

Albert Newman 1921 - 2008

[Simon]

Very sorry to hear of your sad news Jamie. My heart goes out to you and your family in this tough time. Times like these are very hard for all those concerned but human spirit breaks through and we all get through. Keep your chin up as I'm sure all of you did your dad proud. If there is anything you need, just ask.

[GreyGhost]

My sincere condolences to you and your family. I am bereft of both parents, my dad passed over 5 years ago at 94, I agree totally with your sentiment regarding old age and ill health, can be very demeaning.
I wish you a very long life and a quick and painless death.

[Ken]

Sorry to hear this Jamie and my condolences to your family

Regards

Ken

[uk_dave&gill]

I feel for you Jamie, I really do

We lost my dad almost a year ago now, and it still doesn't seem real. I'd guess it's true to say that it will get easier, but it will never be easy - you obviously cared deeply for your dad and therefore you'll always miss him

I still have dreams when he's with us and then we lose him again, and I end up with tears in my eyes - and I don't feel embarrassed admitting this although he was 80 and I'm now 46

Putting a post on here will almost certainly help, as it has already given you an outlet to express your emotions. Also the folks on here seem genuinely to be able to help.........

Here's my post from last year, if it helps...

http://www.the75andztclub.co.uk/foru...ead.php?t=7324

[stocktake]

Condolences Jamie,
Lost my dad 9 years ago after along and to be honest pride stripping illness. It's a day you will never forget.

My mum on the other hand left us in her sleep, totally unexpected some 5 years later.

As a result of that your current signature cuts very deep.

Thankyou for sharing this with us Jamie, not only to share in your grief but also giving us he opportunity to remember our own.


Dave...

[Tim]

As above really Jamie, so sorry on your news.

[Aga]

You have my thoughts and sympathies.
Lost my mum to heart problems at 47 in 1978 and my dad to cancer at 63 in 1986.
Although I can tell you that things get better over time and that your dad will still be looking over you in the years to come, it will prove little consolation over the next few weeks. However, he is still with you in your heart where his memory still lives and breathes.
Hold onto those memories - he sounds like a real character and lived a full life.
Again, may I offer my condolences & know that our thoughts are with you.

[brum29]

Sorry to hear of your great loss, it's a terrible time for you and your family at the moment with all the sadness, confusion and turmoil but in saying that you need to be strong, especially, for your mom, she needs you now more than ever. Take care.

With great sadness KB

[Christopher]

Sorry to hear that Jamie - it's been a few years since my dad passed away after a very short battle with cancer - still miss him, but it does get better I promise you. To cope I setup this web page, I said that one day I would get around to shutting it down, not sure when yet though ... To also "Think positive" I have been funding a postgraduate student award in his name for the past 4 years or so now (www.williamjamesaward.org)