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26th May 2010, 19:36 | #1 |
This is my second home
Rover 75 CDTi Connoisseur SE & MG ZT Saloon 190 Join Date: Jun 2007
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Pilots Gripe Sheet
After every flight, Qantas Airlines pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction.
The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some supposedly actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution as recorded by Qantas maintenance engineers. (P = The problem logged by the pilot.) (S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.) P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on backorder. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're there for. P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget.
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www.midlandsnanomeets.co.uk Robs Car Gallery Coven near Wolverhampton WV9 2000 Cowley Built Rover 75 2.0 V6 Club SE/ Atlantic Blue/ Sandstone/Walnut (daily driver) 2003 Land Rover Freelander 1 TD4 HSE Helsinki Blue/Black Leather (swmbo daily driver) |
26th May 2010, 20:09 | #2 |
I really should get out more.......
75 connoisseur SE CDTi Join Date: Jun 2009
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Very funny Mr Trebor.........
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26th May 2010, 20:12 | #3 |
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Rover 75 FaceLift Tourer CDTi 170BHP Auto ConnSE 2005 Model Starlight Silver Join Date: Nov 2006
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Not far from the truth on some of the sheets and reports we receive.
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26th May 2010, 20:15 | #4 |
Banned
75 CDT Connoisseur SE Auto Join Date: Nov 2006
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26th May 2010, 20:17 | #5 |
This is my second home
MG6 1.8T GT SE Join Date: Mar 2009
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Thats brilliant guys really made me laugh !
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27th May 2010, 04:03 | #6 |
Retired
CDTi Tourer 2005 Join Date: Apr 2009
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I would think that the most unusual/sought after sheets would be the ones for Ryan Air
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27th May 2010, 04:22 | #7 |
Avid contributor
Rover 75 Conn Tourer CDTi Join Date: Nov 2008
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Comedy
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27th May 2010, 10:31 | #8 |
Retired
CDTi Tourer 2005 Join Date: Apr 2009
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30th May 2010, 16:17 | #9 |
Retired
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30th May 2010, 16:19 | #10 |
Banned
75 CDT Connoisseur SE Auto Join Date: Nov 2006
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