Feel Alienated With The Old Car Club I Rejoined

[TR75]

Ditch the old club. Come to one of the next South West meets and I can guarantee you that your car will be in the photo line up and you will be around like minded people.

[RovermanPhil]

Originally Posted by Neil1

I have been a member of many car clubs over the years because I like to know more and meet people who had an interest in that marque.

But earlier this year I rejoined an Old Car Club and went on a run of 86 miles (Sunday 7th June 2014) finishing off at a Hotel for a 3 course meal, which was very nice.

Luckily I was following a member who knew the route as I was well out of my comfort zone and being on my own made it impossible to follow the written route.
I used nearly 4 gallons of fuel because many of the villages in the South Hams have a speed limit of 20mp.
Plus all the cyclists who decide to ride up a hill in the middle of a road and hold everyone up.
(I used to be a cyclist myself so always give them space)

Now I know my car isn't what can classed as a Classic Car due to the fact that it's only 10 years old but being told that I couldn't have my car in the photo lineup even though there was a BMW Z3 present kind of makes me feel why should I bother?

But it's the number of sly digs that I keep getting on the fact, 'your car is not old enough' and 'it's too modern'.
Thick skinned I am but this starting to get to me, it's really ticking me off.

I will talk to anyone and have never been afraid to introduce myself but having people turn their back on you is downright rude and bad manners in my book.

I have realised that the car I have bought needs quite a lot of TLC because of the issues it has and have been keeping on top of these, coolant level being the most important.
So I pay more attention to this car than I used to with my previous car which was a Honda Accord.

But saying that it does run well and there aren't that many 1.8T's around that I have seen, where I live.

I don't get out much and have no family alive anymore so I thought rejoining this Old Car Club would be a good thing, but it seems not!

Neil

Hi Neil,
Like you I have been a member of a few car clubs over the years (Rover P6 OC, Rover P4 Drivers Guild, Pre 65 Ford OC) and got fed up with the 'politics' of it all especially when I moved on from a P6 to P4 etc. The 75 and ZT are classics in their own right as far as I am concerned. The definition of a classic is so subjective.

Does it all matter?

After all, for most purposes the term “classic” is entirely arbitrary and simply reflects the fact that a car is old, out of production and some people collect them. Eventually all cars fall into that category, even some real dogs – there are collectors and owners’ clubs for almost every car model built.

So the answer is no. Classic or not is a personal viewpoint.
What is important as that both the best and worst car is part of motoring history and that examples are being conserved. In the process a lot people gain enjoyment or a living from it.

Like you I own a 1.8T which is an 03 model and combines the comfort, style and design of the P6's and P4 which I had.

If they don't make it any more, you treasure it and it makes you smile to drive it, that's a classic! And that'll do for me.

Phil

[Gate Keeper]

Originally Posted by Neil1

I have noticed the trips here but I have a thing about driving on Motorways at the moment where it freaks me out.
I haven't driven on one for over 6 years, even dual carriageways make me jittery and I have no idea why.
A & B roads I'm fine.

It not uncommon for people to develop negative feelings or anxiety about driving on the roads you mention, you do not know what the trigger for this is. Several years ago, my younger brother openly admitted to me that he had the same problem. In our childhood we were in a horrific railway accident when a train was derailed and he was trapped. I was lucky as I was not trapped and was'nt affected. I think he never got over it. Years later, he worked as traffic cop and eventually he could not cope with driving on patrol up and down the motorways. Eventually he would find himself delegating the driving to a junior officer. I arranged for him to see the police surgeon for post traumatic stress syndrome and he was taken off his duties on traffic permanently. We tried hypnosis, counseling and medication - beta blockers to reduce the anxiety. He now lives with the condition and like yourself he only drives on A and B roads. He will never drive on a motorway. We accept it. He still works for the police.

Having said all of that, if I may suggest, stick with the meets in this club or in one of the other Rover 75 MG ZT forums. We are all in the same boat: a mutual appreciation and love for the car. I have made many friends through this club in the UK and round the word. There are one or two odd bods here but they may well say the same about me..it makes life interesting. Funny, I have a good friend who wears a rattling bunch of keys on a chain, is an OC member. I had better not say anymore

[Neil1]

Originally Posted by Gate Keeper

It not uncommon for people to develop negative feelings or anxiety about driving on the roads you mention, you do not know what the trigger for this is. Several years ago, my younger brother openly admitted to me that he had the same problem. In our childhood we were in a horrific railway accident when a train was derailed and he was trapped. I was lucky as I was not trapped and was'nt affected. I think he never got over it. Years later, he worked as traffic cop and eventually he could not cope with driving on patrol up and down the motorways. Eventually he would find himself delegating the driving to a junior officer. I arranged for him to see the police surgeon for post traumatic stress syndrome and he was taken off his duties on traffic permanently. We tried hypnosis, counseling and medication - beta blockers to reduce the anxiety. He now lives with the condition and like yourself he only drives on A and B roads. He will never drive on a motorway. We accept it. He still works for the police.

Having said all of that, if I may suggest, stick with the meets in this club or in one of the other Rover 75 MG ZT forums. We are all in the same boat: a mutual appreciation and love for the car. I have made many friends through this club in the UK and round the word. There are one or two odd bods here but they may well say the same about me..it makes life interesting. Funny, I have a good friend who wears a rattling bunch of keys on a chain, is an OC member. I had better not say anymore

It has come about in the last 12 years that I have this fear and could be the result of an accident I had at work.
In 2002 while working as a multi-drop driver for a company, I was lifting a box out of the side door and balanced it on my knee, but the box moved and I caught it with my left hand as it fell.
This wrenched my left shoulder so badly that it came out of it's socket, the pain was unbelievable.
The weight of the box was a two man lift but I didn't know this and only found this out afterwards.

Luckily that day I had a co-driver and he took over driving.
I used to drive the Transit van miles all over the place and had no issues.
But after that I lost a bit of confidence because I wasn't allowed to drive a manual car, hence these days I only drive an automatic.
My shoulder is now completely shot as the physiotherapists did even more damage to it because of a wrong diagnosis, they didn't realise it was out of place, eventually this was discovered but by then it was too late.
I can have an operation but there is no guarantee this will work so I live with the fact that I cannot use my left arm/hand much, have lost 75% of strength and use.

After this I became a hermit and didn't go out much, but Family made me get back into my car and drive.
Short distances to start with, so I suppose it stems from what happened.

[Gate Keeper]

Originally Posted by Neil1

It has come about in the last 12 years that I have this fear and could be the result of an accident I had at work.
In 2002 while working as a multi-drop driver for a company, I was lifting a box out of the side door and balanced it on my knee, but the box moved and I caught it with my left hand as it fell.
This wrenched my left shoulder so badly that it came out of it's socket, the pain was unbelievable.
The weight of the box was a two man lift but I didn't know this and only found this out afterwards.

Luckily that day I had a co-driver and he took over driving.
I used to drive the Transit van miles all over the place and had no issues.
But after that I lost a bit of confidence because I wasn't allowed to drive a manual car, hence these days I only drive an automatic.
My shoulder is now completely shot as the physiotherapists did even more damage to it because of a wrong diagnosis, they didn't realise it was out of place, eventually this was discovered but by then it was too late.
I can have an operation but there is no guarantee this will work so I live with the fact that I cannot use my left arm/hand much, have lost 75% of strength and use.

After this I became a hermit and didn't go out much, but Family made me get back into my car and drive.
Short distances to start with, so I suppose it stems from what happened.

You have certainly been through the wars and in trying to save that box, your shoulder is knackered and it looks as though you have been able to identify the trigger for the driving issues. It is a bad business the management of the shoulder has been poor. Surgery is the last option and had it been realigned immediately post injury, one can only hope it would have saved you all the pain, discomfort and everything you had to endure. I had a bad fall 5 weeks ago, breaking ribs and hurting my shoulder, x- rays and treatment in A+E. Compared to you I was very lucky and lucky I did not bang my head on the rocks, as I had fallen heavy on the mountain carrying a box of groceries not looking where I was going

Well Neil, thanks for adding some more details about the history, which explains much. I feel for you and even though there is still some way for you to go, I hope it all works out for you eventually with the shoulder, the driving, work and getting to the MGR meets.

[jonathan63]

Haven't had time to read all the responses (I'm supposed to be working) but never mind these other geezas. You stick with us mate. We are you friends

[rosephus]

It never ceases to amaze me why people think just because you own the same car or marque of car that automatically means you will get on. People are people, you either get on or you don't regardless of the car you drive.

[klarzy]

Originally Posted by Gate Keeper

It not uncommon for people to develop negative feelings or anxiety about driving on the roads you mention, you do not know what the trigger for this is. Several years ago, my younger brother openly admitted to me that he had the same problem. In our childhood we were in a horrific railway accident when a train was derailed and he was trapped. I was lucky as I was not trapped and was'nt affected. I think he never got over it. Years later, he worked as traffic cop and eventually he could not cope with driving on patrol up and down the motorways. Eventually he would find himself delegating the driving to a junior officer. I arranged for him to see the police surgeon for post traumatic stress syndrome and he was taken off his duties on traffic permanently. We tried hypnosis, counseling and medication - beta blockers to reduce the anxiety. He now lives with the condition and like yourself he only drives on A and B roads. He will never drive on a motorway. We accept it. He still works for the police.

Having said all of that, if I may suggest, stick with the meets in this club or in one of the other Rover 75 MG ZT forums. We are all in the same boat: a mutual appreciation and love for the car. I have made many friends through this club in the UK and round the word. There are one or two odd bods here but they may well say the same about me..it makes life interesting. Funny, I have a good friend who wears a rattling bunch of keys on a chain, is an OC member. I had better not say anymore

I lived with agoraphobia, vertigo and anxiety for 20 years, CBT, SSRI's and great support from the missus got me through, I now travel all over Europe and Russia, so it can be beaten. Mental disorders do not mean that you are nuts (although I am not 100% sure in my own case), it just means that either your brain chemistry is out, or your "Id" is trying to protect you from something it perceives as a threat. CBT exposes you to the trigger in small doses until you re-learn the fact that the fear of a thing is in most cases much worse than the thing it's self.

SSRI's help you to sleep and reduce stress (a major trigger for most anxiety disorders) and support from an understanding person helps you feel normal and secure.

20 years in darkness, for 7 held my hand, forever I will follow her and help her if I can. inscribed in a ring I will put on her finger soon...

[Gate Keeper]

Kiarzy, there is nothing you have described that I do not disagree with. Mental illness affects I:5 of the population at some time in a persons life. Some people in the past on this forum have called it going nuts and some others have been have been offended by the word 'nuts', but then are all different and mental illness is the same, except it does not discriminate. I like your positive approach that phobias can be beaten. As you know, there are different models of therapy one can use one to one, or in a psycho dynamic group setting. I used to run a group under supervision at the Institute for Human Relations - The Tavistock Clinic in Hampstead. In practice, this was not the case for my brother. We tried everything and his phobia became intractable. He has had to learn to live with his phobia and so have the rest of the family. We love him dearly. I am fully conversant with CBT and the dynamics of flooding, but will say this: that one cannot force someone to face their fears if they do not want to and put up a brick walk. I am sincerely happy that you came through the darkness with the help of SSRI 's - anti depressants, cognitive behavioural therapy. You lead a full and active life. Be well thank you for being open and for sharing. I hope this helps Neil.

[klarzy]

Thanks Neil,

Personally I would rather be nuts than mentally ill (I find it far funnier, humour is also a great coping mechanism and was one of the tools I used)

one of my favourite moments was going to my local councillor for CBT and seeing on the office door a sign which said, "Caution, may contain nuts", laughed my back side off all day..