Brum's Joke Book - Page 22

tigerchubs · 30th June 2008, 13:30

My pit bull terrier is deeply offended by your blatant stereotyping, she feels that the image of her and her relatives is totally unwarranted. She also states that if you continue to post comments portraying them in such bad light she will have to come along to the Yorkshire MEAT and have a serious word with you.

Crackin joke though Keff

brum29 · 30th June 2008, 13:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by tigerchubs

My pit bull terrier is deeply offended by your blatant stereotyping, she feels that the image of her and her relatives is totally unwarranted. She also states that if you continue to post comments portraying them in such bad light she will have to come along to the Yorkshire MEAT and have a serious word with you.

Crackin joke though Keff

Oh no, don't want to upset the doggie, in your best dog speak please apologise for me, didn't mean her. Thought them doggie were banned, you can tell I don't have a dog can't you, is yours the breed that looks like a solid lump of muscle. Scary when you don't know them.

Was just about to buy a black and tan cocker spaniel puppy but they wanted six hundred for it, which I thought was a expensive but have been told thats quite reasonable, don't think so!!!!

brum29 · 30th June 2008, 16:01

brum29 · 30th June 2008, 16:03

brum29 · 30th June 2008, 16:05

brum29 · 30th June 2008, 16:07

brum29 · 30th June 2008, 16:13

brum29 · 30th June 2008, 16:17

brum29 · 1st July 2008, 11:27

This is a case of a photographer photographing another photographer. The following pictures were taken by Hans van de Vorst from the Netherlands at the Grand Canyon, Arizona . The descriptions are his own. The identity of the photographer in the photos is unknown.
If this was the UK or California there would be a high fence blocking the view and keeping people safe from themselves.

I was simply stunned seeing this guy standing on this solitary rock in the Grand Canyon .

The canyon's depth is 900 meters here. The rock on the right is next to the canyon and safe.
Watching this guy in his thong sandals, with a camera and a tripod I asked myself 3 questions:
1. How did he climb that rock?

2. Why not take that sunset picture from that rock to the right, which is perfectly safe?

3. How will he get back?

After the sun set behind the canyon's horizon he packed his things (having only one hand available) and prepared himself for the jump. This took about 2 minutes. At that point he had the full attention of the crowd.
This is the point of no return. After that, he jumped in his thong sandals...
The canyon's depth is 900 meters (3,000 feet) here.

Now you can see that the adjacent rock is higher so he tried to land lower, which is quite steep and tried to use his one hand to grab the rock.
We've come to the end of this story.
Look carefully at the photographer.
He has a camera, a tripod and also a plastic bag, all on his shoulder or in his left hand.

Only his right hand is available to grab the rock and the weight of his stuff is a problem.
He lands low on his flip flops, both his right hand and right foot slip away...
At that moment I take this shot.
He pushes his body against the rock.
He waits for a few seconds, throws his stuff on the rock, climbs and walks away, presumably to a bathroom to change his shorts.
I know I had to change mine and I was just watching!!

brum29 · 8th July 2008, 17:40

Winston's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma. After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine and your brother came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother... he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"

"Denise," says the doctor.

The new mother says, "Wow, that's a beautiful name! I guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise." Then she asks, "What's the boy's name?"

"Denephew."

30th June 2008, 13:30	#211
tigerchubs Gets stuck in Rover 75 CDT+ in Yorkshire Gold Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Sheffield Posts: 975 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	My pit bull terrier is deeply offended by your blatant stereotyping, she feels that the image of her and her relatives is totally unwarranted. She also states that if you continue to post comments portraying them in such bad light she will have to come along to the Yorkshire MEAT and have a serious word with you. Crackin joke though Keff __________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

30th June 2008, 16:01	#213
brum29 Passed Away Rover 75 Tourer 2L CDT Club SE 2002 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: B.V.T - Birmingham Posts: 832 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts	For the Older Rider

30th June 2008, 16:03	#214
brum29 Passed Away Rover 75 Tourer 2L CDT Club SE 2002 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: B.V.T - Birmingham Posts: 832 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts	Baby Rider.................

30th June 2008, 16:05	#215
brum29 Passed Away Rover 75 Tourer 2L CDT Club SE 2002 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: B.V.T - Birmingham Posts: 832 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts	Camel.................

30th June 2008, 16:07	#216
brum29 Passed Away Rover 75 Tourer 2L CDT Club SE 2002 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: B.V.T - Birmingham Posts: 832 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts	Weather Stone..............

30th June 2008, 16:13	#217
brum29 Passed Away Rover 75 Tourer 2L CDT Club SE 2002 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: B.V.T - Birmingham Posts: 832 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts	Customs...............

30th June 2008, 16:17	#218
brum29 Passed Away Rover 75 Tourer 2L CDT Club SE 2002 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: B.V.T - Birmingham Posts: 832 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts	Blasphemy........................

1st July 2008, 11:27	#219
brum29 Passed Away Rover 75 Tourer 2L CDT Club SE 2002 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: B.V.T - Birmingham Posts: 832 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts	Gand Canyon This is a case of a photographer photographing another photographer. The following pictures were taken by Hans van de Vorst from the Netherlands at the Grand Canyon, Arizona . The descriptions are his own. The identity of the photographer in the photos is unknown. If this was the UK or California there would be a high fence blocking the view and keeping people safe from themselves. I was simply stunned seeing this guy standing on this solitary rock in the Grand Canyon . The canyon's depth is 900 meters here. The rock on the right is next to the canyon and safe. Watching this guy in his thong sandals, with a camera and a tripod I asked myself 3 questions: 1. How did he climb that rock? 2. Why not take that sunset picture from that rock to the right, which is perfectly safe? 3. How will he get back? After the sun set behind the canyon's horizon he packed his things (having only one hand available) and prepared himself for the jump. This took about 2 minutes. At that point he had the full attention of the crowd. This is the point of no return. After that, he jumped in his thong sandals... The canyon's depth is 900 meters (3,000 feet) here. Now you can see that the adjacent rock is higher so he tried to land lower, which is quite steep and tried to use his one hand to grab the rock. We've come to the end of this story. Look carefully at the photographer. He has a camera, a tripod and also a plastic bag, all on his shoulder or in his left hand. Only his right hand is available to grab the rock and the weight of his stuff is a problem. He lands low on his flip flops, both his right hand and right foot slip away... At that moment I take this shot. He pushes his body against the rock. He waits for a few seconds, throws his stuff on the rock, climbs and walks away, presumably to a bathroom to change his shorts. I know I had to change mine and I was just watching!!

8th July 2008, 17:40	#220
brum29 Passed Away Rover 75 Tourer 2L CDT Club SE 2002 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: B.V.T - Birmingham Posts: 832 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts	Twins............................... Winston's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma. After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine and your brother came in and named them." The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother... he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" "Denise," says the doctor. The new mother says, "Wow, that's a beautiful name! I guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise." Then she asks, "What's the boy's name?" "Denephew."