Lord Rover's moral is low help need a laugh. - Page 2

FLYER · 17th March 2016, 22:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jay

“A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.”
― Winston S. Churchill

True...

Lol.

FLYER · 17th March 2016, 22:35

A few years ago i picked up a fare going to town .

She was lets say a lady of the night .

When i reached her destination she asked me what the fare was .

I said it was a fiver and she opened her legs and said " take it out of that ".

I turned and looked and said " have you nothing smaller".

stevenicks · 18th March 2016, 09:04

Chin up Dave. We all experience times when we feel things are getting on top of us and outstanding jobs building up. I have a house that needs decorating, a patio to slab, front garden needs sorting etc. Am I worried? No I am not, I will get around to doing the jobs but life is far too short to worry

So chill out as they say Dave, you will get there..... Honest

FLYER · 18th March 2016, 09:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevenicks

Chin up Dave. We all experience times when we feel things are getting on top of us and outstanding jobs building up. I have a house that needs decorating, a patio to slab, front garden needs sorting etc. Am I worried? No I am not, I will get around to doing the jobs but life is far too short to worry

So chill out as they say Dave, you will get there..... Honest

What you really mean is your bone idle ...

Leyland Worldmaster · 18th March 2016, 11:26

Me: Icebreaker!

Woman I was chatting up: Go on then...

Me: Ten tonne penguin.

Dorset Bob · 18th March 2016, 11:59

Talking of bus drivers.

A bus is going along and then the bus breaks down.
The driver gets out and opens the bonnet and scratches his head.

The conductress then get out and says "Do you want a screwdriver?"
Driver says to her "Leave it out, we are 20 minutes late already!"

stevenicks · 18th March 2016, 12:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by FLYER

What you really mean is your bone idle ...

You hit the nail on the head George

FLYER · 18th March 2016, 12:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dorset Bob

Talking of bus drivers.

A bus is going along and then the bus breaks down.
The driver gets out and opens the bonnet and scratches his head.

The conductress then get out and says "Do you want a screwdriver?"
Driver says to her "Leave it out, we are 20 minutes late already!"

Lol.......

Animal · 18th March 2016, 12:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevenicks

You hit the nail on the head George

You forgot cleaning the cars Steve

Lordy · 18th March 2016, 21:59

Oh I love it some cracking gags there, so good in fact I've put this topic as my favourite lol.

I'm keeping these jokes.

Cheers lads this has put a smile on my face.

18th March 2016, 09:04	#13
stevenicks This is my second home MG ZT 180 Auto / Rover 75 2.0 Diesel Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: Brecon. Posts: 7,465 Thanks: 3,297 Thanked 1,666 Times in 1,264 Posts	Chin up Dave. We all experience times when we feel things are getting on top of us and outstanding jobs building up. I have a house that needs decorating, a patio to slab, front garden needs sorting etc. Am I worried? No I am not, I will get around to doing the jobs but life is far too short to worry So chill out as they say Dave, you will get there..... Honest __________________ "You're Not Laughing Now Are You?" Steve

18th March 2016, 11:26	#15
Leyland Worldmaster This is my second home Audi A2 1.4TDI Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Avec the Penguins! Posts: 11,469 Thanks: 3,355 Thanked 1,622 Times in 1,057 Posts	Me: Icebreaker! Woman I was chatting up: Go on then... Me: Ten tonne penguin. __________________ [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] 🏓

18th March 2016, 11:59	#16
Dorset Bob Senior Citizen Rover 75 2.5 Connoisseur SE,Chrysler 300C,124 Spider, Daytona 955i,Honda XL250 & Royal Enfield 650GT Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: The Kingdom of Wessex Posts: 6,976 Thanks: 2,391 Thanked 2,685 Times in 1,686 Posts	Talking of bus drivers. A bus is going along and then the bus breaks down. The driver gets out and opens the bonnet and scratches his head. The conductress then get out and says "Do you want a screwdriver?" Driver says to her "Leave it out, we are 20 minutes late already!" __________________ Let the good times roll............

18th March 2016, 21:59	#20
Lordy This is my second home Ford Probe GT. Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: Caenarfron Posts: 7,897 Thanks: 3,533 Thanked 2,516 Times in 1,481 Posts	Oh I love it some cracking gags there, so good in fact I've put this topic as my favourite lol. I'm keeping these jokes. Cheers lads this has put a smile on my face. __________________ Regardless of nation and Origin all Soldiers should be remembered past or present. Lest we forget. Never forget them and support our armed forces. https://i.imgur.com/oyca2Lyl.jpg?1 Passion Never Dies It Only Gets Stronger. Go your own way.

17th March 2016, 22:35	#12
FLYER Banned rover75 cdti AUTO TOURER 160 bhp. Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Glasgow Posts: 35,346 Thanks: 2,985 Thanked 3,685 Times in 2,463 Posts	A few years ago i picked up a fare going to town . She was lets say a lady of the night . When i reached her destination she asked me what the fare was . I said it was a fiver and she opened her legs and said " take it out of that ". I turned and looked and said " have you nothing smaller".