Coronavirus Humour signs /Jokes. - Page 8

elroy · 1st April 2020, 12:53

Just a quick scribble it's cold out 😀IMG_20200401_134358.jpg IMG_20200401_134327.jpg

Sent from my Lenovo TB-X103F using Tapatalk

jackatesme · 1st April 2020, 18:57

I really have a caring wife, i woke up this morning, after 10 days into our lockdown, to find her holding a pillow over my face,to keep the virus away.

Nobby · 1st April 2020, 19:56

Talking of testicles lifted this from another forum ....

A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and proceeds to give him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and
pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,
very, closely:

"Are - my - test - results - back?"

Ian G · 2nd April 2020, 08:39

The cat has just asked me if I'd like the radio left on for company while he goes out

jackatesme · 3rd April 2020, 14:08

If you can smell their *art then you are too close.

clf · 3rd April 2020, 15:09

I called with my 80 year old neighbour to see if she needed anything from the shops. She said she did, so I gave her my list. Well there is no point us both going

jackatesme · 4th April 2020, 18:12

Lets look on the bright side: No Debenhams, No Bonmarche, No Next, No River Island, No Matalan, and no Ladbrokes. This time next year me and swmbo will be MILLIONAIRES.

Bogbrush82 · 5th April 2020, 00:03

The amount of jokes about the coronavirus has reached worrying numbers.

Scientists claim we are in the middle of a pundemic.

Arctic · 5th April 2020, 00:42

I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here

baxlin · 5th April 2020, 01:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bogbrush82

The amount of jokes about the coronavirus has reached worrying numbers.

Scientists claim we are in the middle of a pundemic.

This joke might even go viral....

1st April 2020, 18:57	#72
jackatesme This is my second home rover 75 saloon.Renault Captur 1.5 diesel. Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: rhymney Posts: 3,661 Thanks: 2,269 Thanked 1,242 Times in 702 Posts	I really have a caring wife, i woke up this morning, after 10 days into our lockdown, to find her holding a pillow over my face,to keep the virus away. __________________ - John B signing out Maralyn was born 9th Sept 2004 14.44.48. 103,597 of 112,381 (75s) 3,021 of 4,744 Connie SE 239 of 1.685 Platinum Gold. "Maralyn": Platinum Blonde,Troublesome,Unpredictable.

1st April 2020, 19:56	#73
Nobby Aged to perfection! Rover 75 Conn SE Tourer Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Princes Risborough Posts: 639 Thanks: 405 Thanked 423 Times in 226 Posts	Talking of testicles lifted this from another forum .... A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and proceeds to give him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?" Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine." The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely: "Are - my - test - results - back?" __________________ Nobby....... Sometimes I talk to myself, Then we both LAUGH!

2nd April 2020, 08:39	#74
Ian G This is my second home Small Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Land of the Eel Posts: 6,315 Thanks: 2,328 Thanked 2,991 Times in 1,431 Posts	The cat has just asked me if I'd like the radio left on for company while he goes out __________________ The man behind redfive

3rd April 2020, 14:08	#75
jackatesme This is my second home rover 75 saloon.Renault Captur 1.5 diesel. Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: rhymney Posts: 3,661 Thanks: 2,269 Thanked 1,242 Times in 702 Posts	If you can smell their *art then you are too close. __________________ - John B signing out Maralyn was born 9th Sept 2004 14.44.48. 103,597 of 112,381 (75s) 3,021 of 4,744 Connie SE 239 of 1.685 Platinum Gold. "Maralyn": Platinum Blonde,Troublesome,Unpredictable.

3rd April 2020, 15:09	#76
clf This is my second home MG ZT CDTi Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: carrick Posts: 7,859 Thanks: 3,494 Thanked 2,657 Times in 1,973 Posts	I called with my 80 year old neighbour to see if she needed anything from the shops. She said she did, so I gave her my list. Well there is no point us both going __________________ It is not gloss primer .............. it is duct tape silver!

1st April 2020, 12:53	#71
elroy I really should get out more....... MG ZTT Join Date: Jun 2014 Location: TUXFORD Posts: 2,086 Thanks: 3,602 Thanked 1,158 Times in 643 Posts	Just a quick scribble it's cold out 😀IMG_20200401_134358.jpg IMG_20200401_134327.jpg Sent from my Lenovo TB-X103F using Tapatalk

4th April 2020, 18:12	#77
jackatesme This is my second home rover 75 saloon.Renault Captur 1.5 diesel. Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: rhymney Posts: 3,661 Thanks: 2,269 Thanked 1,242 Times in 702 Posts	Lets look on the bright side: No Debenhams, No Bonmarche, No Next, No River Island, No Matalan, and no Ladbrokes. This time next year me and swmbo will be MILLIONAIRES. __________________ - John B signing out Maralyn was born 9th Sept 2004 14.44.48. 103,597 of 112,381 (75s) 3,021 of 4,744 Connie SE 239 of 1.685 Platinum Gold. "Maralyn": Platinum Blonde,Troublesome,Unpredictable.

5th April 2020, 00:03	#78
Bogbrush82 I really should get out more....... BMW X3 2.0D Join Date: May 2017 Location: Tipton Posts: 2,383 Thanks: 51 Thanked 765 Times in 421 Posts	The amount of jokes about the coronavirus has reached worrying numbers. Scientists claim we are in the middle of a pundemic. __________________ Current car: BMW x3 2.0d (The one with the M47 engine!) Rolled off the line on December 14th, 2004.

5th April 2020, 00:42	#79
Arctic Give to Learn Freelander 2 Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: West Midlands Posts: 18,700 Thanks: 1,155 Thanked 6,407 Times in 3,874 Posts	I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?" She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner" I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here __________________ Arctic Givology Learn to Give Everything is Achievable ad altiora tendo. Check out our Nano meet dates http://www.midlandsnanomeets.co.uk/ http://www.the75andztclub.co.uk/index.php?thepage=howto " You do the work , we supply the expertise "