16 cracker jokes for Christmas 2020

[spirit6060]

These have been sent to me. They're not my jokes. Enjoy like I did


1. What is Dominic Cummings' favourite Christmas song? Driving Home for Christmas.
2. Did you hear that production was down at Santa's workshop? Many of his workers have had to elf isolate.
3. Why didn't Mary and Joseph make it to Bethlehem? All Virgin flights were cancelled.
4. Why are Santa's reindeer allowed to travel on Christmas Eve? They have herd immunity.
5. Why did the pirates have to go into lockdown? Because the "Arrrr!" rate had risen.
6. Why is it best to think of 2020 like a panto? Because eventually, it's behind you.
7. Why couldn't Mary and Joseph join their work conference call? Because there was no Zoom at the inn.
8. Why can't Boris Johnson make his Christmas cake until the last minute? He doesn't know how many tiers it should have.
9. Which Christmas film was 30 years ahead of its time? Home Alone.
10. How do you play Dominic Cummings Monopoly? Ignore the rules, move anywhere on the board you like, and never Go To Jail.
11. Why won't Santa lose any presents this year? He's downloaded Sack and Trace.
12. How is Prince Andrew coping with the stresses of Christmas this year? Fine. No sweat.
13. Why wasn't Rudolph allowed to take part in vaccine trials? Because they only wanted guinea pigs.
14. Which Government scheme supports Christmas dinner? Eat Sprout To Help Out.
15. How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he's visited? He keeps a logbook.
16. Why did Mary and Joseph have to travel to Bethlehem? Because they couldn't book a home delivery.


What's your favorite? Mine's No 7

[macafee2]

10's not too bad either

macafee2

[YHT]

Urgh! Well done.