Dementia - Jackie Stewarts wife - how sad.

[Dorset Bob]

Originally Posted by Dorset Bob

... However, I will cherish that hug and to be mother and son again, for those few moments.
Hopefully she will remember me again, but I fear that, maybe, it was our last goodbye.
...

Today is my mother's birthday, so I thought I would update this.

She never did remember me again. In fact, now she cannot remember ever being a mother at all.
Mum was devoted to my late father and can't remember him either.
Her whole life and memories have been robbed from her.

She lives in a care home now. Due to Covid 19 restrictions visitors are not allowed, so I haven't seen her in approaching a year.

My birthday card will be with her.

It is hard but I want to remember her as my Mum and not how she is now.

[edwardmk]

Originally Posted by Dorset Bob

Today is my mother's birthday, so I thought I would update this.

She never did remember me again. In fact, now she cannot remember ever being a mother at all.
Mum was devoted to my late father and can't remember him either.
Her whole life and memories have been robbed from her.

She lives in a care home now. Due to Covid 19 restrictions visitors are not allowed, so I haven't seen her in approaching a year.

My birthday card will be with her.

It is hard but I want to remember her as my Mum and not how she is now.

Very sorry to hear of your loss. My wife lost her mum the same way but she physically passed peacefully several years later. On one occasion, my wife talked to her mum for over an hour at her care home, but I had noticed that change too. Being my turn to talk, I asked my mother in law if she remembered me, and she replied 'of course I do'. Moving swiftly on I asked 'When did you last speak to Lynn?'
The reply ' Oh I haven't spoken to Lynn for ages. She never speaks to me now' was very sad indeed.
We had travelled from Truro to Kirkcaldy whenever we could. (I can't praise the care home staff at Abbeyfield highly enough.)
I've seen too many of my patients succumb, sometimes scarily quickly. One lady mentioned her husband's business had been previously valued at over £1mill, but it was now worthless as they found out too late he had unwittingly destroyed it. He was a late forties high achiever who developed full blown dementia in his mid fifties.
Dementia is a multifactorial multifaceted condition which is why it's so hard to understand and prevent, like so many long term degenerative conditions.

[AndyN01]

I lost my mum a few years ago to this dreadful disease. It's heartbreaking to see the ones you love lose their memories although there can be some odd highlights.

We visited and held a lovely conversation about where she'd been the day before. She was quite lucid in describing a cream tea in Bourton on the Water. Sadly, in reality, she'd spent the day in a hospital bed. She hadn't been to Bourton for probably 15 years.

But in the end she'd forgotten who we were and who my dad was and they'd been together for over 6 decades. And there's nothing you can do to bring them back. It must be terrifying from their side to have all these folks you "don't know" saying you're their mum, dad, husband etc.

I hope JYS gets to the top step of the podium for this particular Race.

[Dorset Bob]

My mother is now pretty much bed ridden now and can't really communicate.
It is sad as she loved dancing when she was younger.

Thank you AndyN01, you have reminded me of some amusing instances.

She could only remember the distant past, that made her think she was young again, if that makes sense.

She would regularly ask me if I had any children and I would tell her about my son. About 5 minutes later she had forgotten and would ask again.
She said so that would make her an Aunty now, wouldn't it?
I said no a Grandmother.
Laughing she said "You cheeky little s0d, I am not that old!"

She settled in well at the care home and quickly forgot about their own house.
On my first visit I asked her if she liked the place.
She said that it was a nice big house to own.
There are lots of people staying over but she didn't mind as she had plenty of rooms.
This would be a great place to have a party, she said, and wanted me to help organise it...

Another time I asked her what she has been up.
She said not much, but tonight I am going to give this lot the slip
and go dancing in the town.

I thought that was funny until some months later, she escaped through the security door by activating the fire alarm.
In the mayhem that ensued, she legged it into town.
She was recaptured several hours later in the centre of Chipping Norton.

That incident created a lot of paperwork, with Oxfordshire CC.