Complaints to Local Authority Councils

Phil63 · 2nd March 2016, 19:55

Extracts from letters written by council tenants:

1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my
knob off.
3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he
put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
4. Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
5. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it
was bad wind the other day that blew them off.
6. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
7. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
8. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped
and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
9. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen...
10. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just
plain filthy.
11. The next door neighbour has got this huge tool that vibrates the whole
house and I just can't take it any more.
12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is
cleared.
13. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and
not fit to drink.
14. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.
15. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at
6am his NAUGHTY WORD-NAUGHTY WORD-NAUGHTY WORD-NAUGHTY WORD- wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.
16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is
unsightly and dangerous.
17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third,
so please send someone round to do something about it.
18. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do
something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my
wife..
20. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still
have no satisfaction.
21. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get
BBC2.
22. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has
fungus growing in it.

thomas 75 connie · 2nd March 2016, 20:19

Thankyou so much for posting this its brilliant

Scaramanga · 3rd March 2016, 22:12

Hehe brilliant!

Nev The Bear · 5th March 2016, 20:26

Brilliant, some real funny quotes.

Jim Jamieson · 6th March 2016, 15:32

Read these out to the family !

Now we're stitches with laughter.

Brilliant.

stevenicks · 6th March 2016, 15:39

Me and the Missus are in tears. Thanks

desperatedan · 7th March 2016, 19:17

I work for a council and we are undergoing cuts, this is going to put a smile on everyone's face tomorrow i can't wait!

Phil63 · 7th March 2016, 20:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by desperatedan

I work for a council and we are undergoing cuts, this is going to put a smile on everyone's face tomorrow i can't wait!

So do I, and we're being privatized next year.

2nd March 2016, 19:55	#1
Phil63 Posted a thing or two 04 75 tourer cdt auto. Two tone grey. X-Power over Tempest. 04 75 V8 Chatsworth Bronze.. Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Devizes Posts: 1,615 Thanks: 392 Thanked 402 Times in 244 Posts	Complaints to Local Authority Councils Extracts from letters written by council tenants: 1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow. 2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off. 3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage. 4. Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence. 5. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off. 6. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand? 7. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall. 8. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant. 9. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen... 10. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy. 11. The next door neighbour has got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it any more. 12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared. 13. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink. 14. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces. 15. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6am his NAUGHTY WORD-NAUGHTY WORD-NAUGHTY WORD-NAUGHTY WORD- wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me. 16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous. 17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it. 18. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night. 19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.. 20. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction. 21. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2. 22. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it. __________________ This vehicle was the 26,209th 75 Tourer to run off the production line, out of 27,407 This vehicle was the 1,673rd 75 Tourer CDT Connoisseur SE (135) to be made out of 2,074 This vehicle was the 487th 75 Tourer in XPower Grey (code: LEF) to be made out of 670 XPower Grey 75 Tourers [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

3rd March 2016, 22:12	#3
Scaramanga I really should get out more....... Firefrost 75 CDTi Conn SE manual Tourer Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Wales Posts: 2,319 Thanks: 1,409 Thanked 695 Times in 500 Posts	Hehe brilliant! __________________ My current 75 is my 4th... 1. Starlight Silver 1.8 manual Saloon- RIP - HGF before I joined this forum 2. White Gold CDTi manual Saloon - RIP - Car accident 3. Midnight Blue 2.5 V6 auto Saloon- 'The 5th Gear Car' - Now owned by another forum member 4. Firefrost CDTi manual Tourer Lee [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

6th March 2016, 15:39	#6
stevenicks This is my second home MG ZT 180 Auto / Rover 75 2.0 Diesel Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: Brecon. Posts: 7,465 Thanks: 3,297 Thanked 1,666 Times in 1,264 Posts	Me and the Missus are in tears. Thanks __________________ "You're Not Laughing Now Are You?" Steve

2nd March 2016, 20:19	#2
thomas 75 connie This is my second home Rover 75 launch car x2, Rover 800 Vitesse Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Plymouth Devon Posts: 8,463 Thanks: 1,115 Thanked 1,083 Times in 653 Posts	Thankyou so much for posting this its brilliant

5th March 2016, 20:26	#4
Nev The Bear This is my second home Does not matter Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: . Posts: 3,996 Thanks: 2,397 Thanked 1,575 Times in 987 Posts	Brilliant, some real funny quotes.

6th March 2016, 15:32	#5
Jim Jamieson This is my second home Rover less ! Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Tarbolton Posts: 3,442 Thanks: 393 Thanked 888 Times in 542 Posts	Read these out to the family ! Now we're stitches with laughter. Brilliant.

7th March 2016, 19:17	#7
desperatedan Regular poster contemporary SE CDTI Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Gravesend Posts: 68 Thanks: 6 Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts	I work for a council and we are undergoing cuts, this is going to put a smile on everyone's face tomorrow i can't wait!