Something to make you smile.

[jackatesme]

Facebook is not all bad. This was posted today,by a 2nd grade teacher.

I've been teaching for about 15 yrs.We have a show and tell session with the kids. It helps them to get over shyness to stand up in front of class and tell their story.
Erica, a very bright outgoing kid takes a turn,waddles up to the front with a pillow stuffed up her sweater. She holds up a photo,"This is my brother Luke and i am going to tell you about his Birthday.
First mom and dad made him as a symbol of their love,and the dad put a seed in Moms' stomach. Luke grew in there feeding on an umbrella cord for nine months.
Then two Saturday mom starts going OH,OH,OH,OH, Erica puts her hand behind her back and groans. "Mom walked around the house like for about an hour," Now Erica is walking around and groaning.
"My dad called the middle wife.She delivers babies,but she does not have a sign on her car like Dominos man. They got mom to lie down in bed, Erica lies down with her back against the wall.
"Then pop! My mam kept a bag of water in there in case the baby was thirsty,and it all blew up and covered the bed." Erica now has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing everywhere.
"They started counting but did not get past ten, then all of a sudden out comes my brother."
"He was covered with yucky stuff,the middle wife said it was moms play center. The middle wife spanked him on the bottom for crawling up there in the first place."
Erica then stood up took a bow and returned to her seat.

[Astraeus]

Now, in my first teaching post in a certain Essex town with a large traveller community we too did similar things. We 'enjoyed' circle time that was very prescriptive following a daily pattern.
Picture the scene

Me.....3 days in to first job post qualifying with year 6
All sitting in a circle....

Now the first task was to describe something you like doing in your free time.

I starts....

I love playing football with my son...

Jenny

I like playing football too.

John


I like playing with my action man


Gillian

I like playing with my friends climbing trees


Jack

I like drawing on big paper


The comes to Patrick. ( name changed but similar)

I like fightten chickens....."
As I didn't know this one I asked

"What is that is it a game..?"


"No , Mr Roy Fighten chickens....

"Oh, is it a video?" asks me somewhat nievely

"No. ( obviously a bit exasperated with me by now) Fighten chickens....spur things on their legs......kick each other until one dies......."

Moving swiftly on.......

[Astraeus]

Now my next job was with a composite P1/2 class in an area of a Fife town in a bit that had a bit of a social issue and drugs


Show and tell with P1/2 on a Monday could be quite entertaining with some very odd things being produced.....


So Monday morning comes and it is time for Sammy the sea lion glove puppet to take showtime ( the glove bit was a bit of a relief later...)

David brings his new teddy. (Awwww)

Jane brings her new furry pencil case. ( very cool..)

Jason brings a new toy fire engine that squirts water ( especially at teachers with silly glove puppets)

Now....the next one....

Susan brings out of her bag........

"This is mum's toy Mr Roy........it makes a buzzing noise when you switch it on....." (Are you getting my drift.)

So time for the glove puppet to remove toy from child, take through to Headteacher....."I will leave you to explain this to Susan's mum boss....."

Now that type of conversation is what HTs get paid more than us....


Absolutely true!

[Astraeus]

Which reminds me.....
Little Johnny comes bounding up to see me on a Monday morning....

Mr Woy (Johnny had a very cute lisp)

"Mummy's wealy, wealy for it this time. Dad came home early and Mummy was on the couch with Uncle David.....

Also true.